


Of Joy and Duty

by exclamation



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Anxiety Issues, Courtship, Drunk Dancing, Drunk Katsuki Yuuri, Homophobia, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Romance, reference to Christophe Giacometti/Victor Nikiforov, yuuri is a forgetful drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:11:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9439859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exclamation/pseuds/exclamation
Summary: At a royal banquet, Crown Prince Victor Nikiforov encountered a drunk foreigner who brought a moment of joy into a life full of duty. During that unforgettable night, this man proposed and stole Victor's heart only to disappear back to his own country the next day.Now Victor wants to follow this man back to his homeland and bring him home to be wed, but first he must convince his family and the royal advisor Yakov to even consider allowing the heir to the throne to marry a man. That's not the only problem though. When Victor finds his betrothed again, the nervous man he finds is nothing like the dancer who won his love at the banquet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A little while ago, I made a post on Tumblr with a [fanfic prompt](http://jessicameats.tumblr.com/post/155356230574/yoi-fanfic-prompt). In the end, I couldn't let the idea go so I started writing it myself. 
> 
> This is a historical/fantasy world AU but I should warn you now that I'm not a historian and I'm employing the traditional storytelling art of making stuff up as I go along. This story will probably bear no resemblance whatsoever to any real historical period in either Russia or Japan, so if you care about historical accuracy, you should probably look away now. 
> 
> There will also be some homophobic attitudes from characters at the idea of Victor marrying another man, as well as some internalised homophobia from a character who has been taught that wanting to be with another man is wrong. 
> 
> I will be using the spelling Yuri for Yuri Katsuki since that's what's used in the title of the show, the subtitles, and the screenshots of scoreboards.

Victor hated royal banquets. They were always formal occasions where he had to be polite and proper to all the guests, making tedious small talk with politicians he could rarely tell apart and dodging parents who tried to convince him that their daughters would be perfect for his bride. He tried to find a way to spend most of the evening with those attendees he could stand, such as his cousin Yuri or his friend Christophe, but the prince was expected to talk with all the guests. It didn’t help that everyone wanted something from him. Even the ones that weren’t trying to marry into the royal family wanted concessions or trade deals or information on what their political rivals were doing. 

Victor found himself compelled to dance with a young lady who he thought was actually his second cousin, who spent half the dance talking about her family’s mines and how renowned they were for silver-smithing in her lands. After a few minutes, Victor couldn’t resist telling her that he’d always preferred gold to silver, but then the current dance came to an end. He bowed formally and tried to escape the dance floor before he was compelled to dance with yet another hopeful suitor. 

As the music struck up again, Victor’s eye was drawn to some wild movements that didn’t fit the stately rhythm of the dancing. A space was opening up as couples moved out of the way, and on that empty clearing two young men were moving to the music, limbs flying in all directions as they spun and stepped and twisted around each other at frantic pace that seemed almost like a form of combat. One of the dancers, Victor knew well. His cousin Yuri moved rapidly, his blond hair streaming with each step, but it was the other man Victor stared at. This man was darker, with a foreign shape to his features, and a body that seemed so much in sync with the music that it almost seemed to be coming from him. 

His slender body flowed with grace, every gesture filled with passion. Victor couldn’t look away. 

An arm wrapped around Victor’s waist and a voice murmured into his ear, “Be careful you don’t start drooling on your nice shirt.” 

“Chris,” Victor said, employing an elbow to shove Chris back to a more proper distance. “Who is he?” 

“Yuri,” Chris answered. 

“No, I meant the person Yuri’s dancing with.” 

“Yuri,” Chris said again. Victor was about to snap at him when Chris laughed and explained, “They’re both called Yuri. They got into some argument about your Yuri saying they didn’t need two Yuri’s in the same court, and so the foreign Yuri suggested they see which of them was a better dancer to determine who should stay.” 

“That… makes no sense at all.” 

“I know. But I wouldn’t want to stop him. Would you?” 

Victor didn’t want to stop him. This foreign Yuri was intoxicating to watch, elegant and beautiful without any of the restraints of formality that normally surrounded everything around here. The young man dropped down towards the floor. For an instant, Victor thought the man had tripped, but he caught himself on one arm and lifted both legs up into the air, kicking them together before pushing back to his feet. Yuri, Victor’s cousin, glared and tried to imitate the move, only to end up sprawled out across the floor. 

Chris laughed and clapped. A few more of those who’d gathered started applauding as well. 

“I think we have a winner,” Chris said. Yuri got to his feet again, glared at Chris, and stormed off. The foreign Yuri took a bow. Only when he straightened did he seem to notice Victor. His eyes locked on Victor’s, his cheeks turning a faint pink, though that might have just been from the exertion of the dance. 

Victor bowed slightly, “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I am Victor Nikiforov, crown prince of…” 

“I know,” the foreign Yuri said, then he stammered, turning pinker, “I mean, I know who you are, your highness. Everyone knows who you are. You’re Prince Victor. You’re handsome and clever and how could anyone not know who you are?” 

Victor smiled. Somehow he could accept the compliment more easily from this stammering and probably drunk young man than from all the fawning women he’d been avoiding all evening. 

“And you are Yuri, I belief?” Victor said. 

“Crap. Sorry. Yes.” Yuri managed a bow. “Yuri Katsuki or Hatsetsu, at your service.” 

“An honour.” 

“No. I mean… The honour’s mine. Like, really, really honoured. To meet you.” 

A waiter was walking passed with a tray of wine glasses. Yuri grabbed one and started gulping it down. 

“I think maybe you’ve had enough,” Victor said. 

“Well, it’s not like this meeting could get any more embarrassing,” said Yuri. 

“I don’t know. You could throw up on my shoes.” It was entirely possible that could happen if Yuri kept drinking the way he was. Yuri finished the drink and handed the glass to the nearest person, which happened to be Chris. Chris looked at the glass in confusion as though he wasn’t sure what to do with it. 

“Were you watching me dance?” Yuri asked Victor. 

“I was.” 

“Ugh. That’s more embarrassing than throwing up.” 

“I wouldn’t say it was embarrassing. I thought it was beautiful.” 

Yuri blinked at him. The delightful blush, which had just started to fade, came back again. “You thought it was beautiful?” 

“Yes. I thought you were beautiful.” 

“I…” Yuri went from pink to bright red, and then said quickly, “Dancewithme.” 

The words spilled out in a rush, as though it was the only way for Yuri to get them out. It took Victor a moment to understand what Yuri had said, but then he smiled and said, “I’d love to.” 

He knew that Yakov would be furious with him for this, but Victor made a point of doing things that made Yakov furious. He offered his hand to Yuri and they returned to the dance floor. 

Their dance wasn’t the wild battle that the two Yuri’s had fought, but it wasn’t the stately formality of the normal dances either. Sometimes they stood apart, Victor trying to imitate Yuri’s effortless grace. Sometimes, they had their hands clasped. At one point, Yuri put a hand round Victor’s waist and dipped him, grinning all the while. Victor found himself grinning back, lost in the movements. For those few minutes, all cares and responsibilities were gone, driven away by the pure joy of dancing. Victor had never thought he’d have a moment like this, so wild and free, let alone in the middle of a banquet he’d been loathing. 

Yuri was like some magical creature shifting his world around, transforming duty into joy. Victor didn’t care about the people around them, all the eyes watching. He didn’t care about anything but the young man in front of him. 

When the musicians stilled their instruments for a pause, Victor led Yuri to the edge of the dancefloor. Victor tried to flag down a waiter for some water, partly because he was thirsty but mostly because he was sure Yuri would need it if he didn’t want to suffer the following day, but Yuri kept clinging on to Victor. 

“Do you think I’m beautiful?” Yuri asked. 

“Yes,” Victor said. 

“I think you’re beautiful. I think you’re the most beautiful person in the world. I have done ever since I first saw you. You’re beautiful and sexy and everyone says what a good king you’ll be and… and I love you. I know we haven’t spoken before but I’ve seen you and seen how you are and… I love you.” 

Victor smiled. He wanted so much to say those words back, but how could he declare love to someone he’d known for less than an hour. Still, he was sure from the pounding of his heart and the way his stomach fluttered that he felt the same. 

“Do you love me?” Yuri asked. 

Victor hesitated. Yuri pouted and looked like he might cry, and Victor almost said the words to make sure that pain never crossed those gentle features. 

“Am I not sexy enough?” Yuri asked. “I know I’m not sexy like Chris, but I can do my best.” Chris was known through the court for his sexual appeal, wooing men and women alike. Though Yakov had done his best to squash the rumours, a lot of people were aware that Chris had taken Victor to his bed more than once. Still, in this moment, Victor would have said that Chris had nothing on Yuri and he would say it. 

“I think you are much sexier than Chris,” Victor said. 

“Hey!” complained Chris. Victor hadn’t even noticed that Chris was nearby. He must have approached them after they’d finished dancing. 

“Sorry, Chris,” Victor said, smiling at his friend, “you’ve been replaced as the sexiest person I know.” 

“Well that’s not acceptable,” Chris said. “I shall have to reclaim my title.” 

He undid the buttons of his formal coat, stripping it off to reveal the tight shirt beneath, the fabric thin enough to show the dark points of his nipples beneath the material. At a royal ball, Chris might as well have stripped naked for all the shock it caused. All around them, eyes were staring, rich and important people looking with horror at such a shameless display. 

Yuri didn’t seem to notice their audience. He just started fumbling for the buttons on his own shirt. He looked back at Victor, fixing him with an intense stare. 

“If I win,” he said, “if I’m sexier than Chris, then you’ll have to marry me.” Victor stared. “Marry me, Victor.” Yuri dropped his coat on the ballroom floor and flung his arms around Victor. “Marry me!”


	2. Chapter 2

Victor had received many marriage proposals. Usually they came from noblemen offering him the hand of their daughters, sometimes the daughters themselves made an approach, but Victor had never been proposed to in a crowded ballroom by a young man he’d only just met. It was ridiculous and Yuri had clearly been drunk, but Victor couldn’t dismiss the memory of that night. A moment of pure joy had appeared in the midst of a life of duty and discipline. Victor wanted to snatch that moment back. Yuri had returned to his homeland the day after the banquet without another word to Victor, but Victor couldn’t put him out of his mind, couldn’t forget that wild, reckless question and the way his heart had pounded. He wanted to chase Yuri and bring him back home. 

But he couldn’t go to his parents and say that he wanted to marry a young man he’d known for only a few hours. It would be difficult to convince them to let him court a man. He was crown prince and they would remind him that duty must come first, and siring heirs was yet another duty, and one Yuri couldn’t help him with. Victor needed to plan, needed to work some way around their inevitable arguments before he approached them. 

So Victor found himself in the palace library, pouring over law books and histories. Even that wouldn’t be enough though, so he looked over recent trade agreements. He spent time talking to his parents’ advisors regarding trade routes and commodities that were in demand by the populace. For the most part, Yakov left him to it, commenting that it was good to see Victor taking this seriously and then going off to chase down Yuri and force him to attend his lessons. 

After nearly four weeks of work, Victor had put together a solid case. He went to find Yakov, partly because if he could get Yakov on his side then he would have an ally in approaching his parents, but also because this would let him test out his arguments. If Yakov thought of new objections, Victor would have a chance to think of answers to them before he spoke to his parents. 

Yakov had a study close to the library, filled with a chaos of books and papers. In theory, he was hired to tutor the princes, but Victor knew that his parents listened to Yakov’s advice on a range of subjects. Victor knocked on the study door one bright morning, when he could be sure the Yuri was anywhere except attending lessons. Sure enough, Yakov was alone in the study, muttering angrily about truanting princes. 

“I wanted your opinion on a marriage proposal I received,” Victor said. 

Yakov looked at him in surprise, but let him into the room, “So one of the lords finally got you to listen about how great their daughter is?” 

“It would forge an alliance with Hatsetsu,” Victor said. Yajov frowned, muttering the name of the land a few times as he tried to place it. Victor took a map from the chaos of paper and pointed to the location, set in an island kingdom far to the south of them. 

“We have very few ties to that kingdom, so a marriage alliance could be beneficial.” Victor launched into his points about the strength of their navy and how it would be useful militarily, but also the fishing and agriculture in the region and how it would be good to have close connections to a place that could provide assistance in times of famine. Yakov’s expression grew more serious and more suspicious with every passing moment. 

“Is she pretty?” he asked, cutting Victor off mid-sentence. 

“What?” 

“You’ve put a lot of thought into why you should marry some minor noble from some obscure part of another kingdom. There’s no way you were persuaded by fish hauls and rice harvests. So, is she pretty?” 

There was no point denying it. 

“The most beautiful sight I’ve seen in my life,” Victor admitted. 

“Young?” 

“Three years younger than me.” 

“Healthy?” 

“Certainly seemed to be.” 

“Hmm.” Yakov stared at the map for a long moment. “Well, I suppose it would be a decent enough match and a deeper connection to this kingdom could provide a lot of benefit. What’s her name?” 

This was the moment Victor had been dreading. “Yuri Katsuki.” 

“WHAT?” 

Victor flinched at the yell, even though he’d been expecting it, but he continued on regardless, trying to smile in the face on Yakov’s anger, “I know it will be confusing to marry someone with the same name as my cousin, but I’m sure we’ll work out some way to differentiate between them.” 

“You want to marry a man?!” Yakov roared. If Victor wasn’t careful, half the palace would know about this simply from overhearing the shouts. 

“There are precedents,” Victor said. “About ninety years ago, two women got married when one of them dressed up as a man and one was allowed to inherit her home on the death of the other as her legally binding wife. Then there was the youngest son of a count who married his valet. It caused quite a scandal, but the marriage still stands. I have found several incidents where a marriage between two people of the same gender was treaded as official and binding, so there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be true for me.” 

“Except you are a prince and it is your duty to father an heir.” 

“I found a precedent for that as well.” 

“You found a precedent for a man getting pregnant?” 

“No, but there was a Lord Demyan who found his wife was barren but fathered a child through a mistress. The child was declared his legal heir. So I could father a child through a surrogate and still have an heir, despite being married to someone who can’t bear children.” 

“You haven’t even married this man and you’re already considering cheating on him?” 

“I’m sure he would understand my need to do my duty.” 

“So do your duty and just marry a woman!” 

“I want to marry Yuri.” 

“You are a prince. What you want has little to do with it. Free men can marry on a whim, but not you.” 

“This isn’t a whim.” 

“How much time have you spent with this Yuri? A few hours? A few days? Long enough for you to want to throw away the dignity of your heritage?” 

It was hard for Victor to argue with that. He wanted to proclaim that this wasn’t some whim, that this was love or destiny, but the fact was he didn’t really know Yuri. He just knew that he couldn’t spend the rest of his life never experiencing the joy he’d felt at the banquet. 

“I want this,” Victor said. 

***

Victor sat in the small parlour for his fifth afternoon tea of the week. Yakov had spoken to his parents and between them they’d concocted a plan to distract him from Yuri, which seemed to consist of shoving him into a room with one beautiful woman after another in the hope that he liked one of them. Today, he was sitting down to tea with a young lady called Sara, while her brother and Yakov sat at the other side of the room as chaperones. Sara’s brother looked like he would very much like to leap across the room and gut Victor with a cake fork. 

Victor and Sara sat on silk-upholstered armchairs on either side of a polished table, cups of a tea and slices of cake set between them. Even the fact that they were separated by furniture and food didn’t stop Sara’s brother looking like he expected Victor to launch at Sara and start molesting her or something. 

After a few minutes of tedious pleasantries, Victor asked, “Have I done something to offend your brother?” 

“Mickey gets a little over-protective of me,” Sara said. “He gets concerned about men who take an interest in me.” 

“I thought the whole point of this exercise was for me to fall in love with you. That’s not likely to happen with your brother looking like he wants to poke my eyes out for just looking at you.” 

Sara glanced at her brother and smiled, “You might be safer just looking at your tea. He has challenged five men to duels to defend my honour.” 

“At once?” 

“No. One at a time, but it wouldn’t surprise me.” 

Victor smiled a little, enjoying this tea more than the previous ones. 

Sara continued, “I would think you should be more scared of your tutor. He seems very angry with you and you have to live in the same building as him after this.” 

“Yakov’s a softy really. He’s just upset because I want to marry the wrong person.” 

“Hence the tea.” 

“Hence the tea,” Victor agreed. 

“That is a situation I can sympathise with.” 

“You liked one of the five men your brother fought?” 

“Let’s just say I would have liked to get to know him.” 

The tea went pleasantly. Sara talked about the young man she had liked. Victor said a few things about Yuri, careful to avoid mention of his name or gender. They smiled together on the subject of interfering families and, by the end of it, Victor felt he had a new friend. 

After Victor bowed his farewell to Sara and her brother, Yakov came over to him, daring to smile. 

“That seemed to go well,” Yakov said. 

“Absolutely,” Victor agreed. “Make sure she’s on the guest list for my wedding to Yuri.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some homophobic reactions in this chapter.

Victor was summoned to his father’s study a few days after his tea with Sara. His father sat behind his desk. Beside him, one on either side, stood Yakov and Victor’s mother. All three of them looked at him with serious expressions. Victor felt almost like he was on trial, standing before judge and jury for his heart’s choice. His whole future was at stake. 

“So, Victor,” his father said, “you are still set on marrying,” his tone became distasteful, “a _man_.” 

“I want to marry Yuri.” 

“You don’t even know this young man. Not really.” 

Victor remembered Sara’s words at their tea and said, “I would like to get to know him.” 

His parents exchanged a look. Victor wondered if they’d been expecting this response. 

“It seems you don’t intend to let this go,” Victor’s father said, “but I will not let you damage the reputation of this family and this country for some man you don’t even know. We have agreed a compromise.” 

“A compromise?” Victor’s heart was pounding. Hope fluttered inside him. This was more than he’d expected when he saw the look on his father’s face. 

“You can visit Hatsetsu. You can go as part of a diplomatic visit to strengthen ties and establish new trade agreements. While you are there, you can spend some time with this Yuri and we hope that closer acquaintance will lead you to reconsider this ridiculous idea of yours.” 

“And if I don’t reconsider?” 

“Then you can invite him back here and this time we will have a proper introduction, but, in the meantime, no one outside this family and his are to hear anything about this ridiculous marriage notion. As far as everyone else may be concerned, this is a diplomatic visit.” 

“It’s bad enough people saw the pair of you _dancing_ ” Victor’s mother said, “but that we can blame on vodka and that Christophe’s influence. No one needs to know that anything else is going on between you two. ” 

“If this Yuri has any sense,” Yakov said, “he’ll disabuse you of this marriage nonsense before anyone else needs to hear about the idea.” 

Victor nodded. He didn’t think Yuri would dismiss the idea, especially since he was the person who’d put the idea into Victor’s head, but he wasn’t going to argue. He was going to get what he wanted, or near enough. He would get to spend time with Yuri again. If Yuri was still interested, Victor could bring him back here. They could have weeks or even months together, with his parents’ blessing, and by then, they might have mellowed to the idea of this marriage. 

“Now get packing,” Victor’s father said, “and remember what we’ve said about secrecy.” 

***

His mother came to see him before he left, saying that she wanted him to be happy but reminding him that he had to think about his duty. It was a variant of the speech he’d heard every day for most of his life. He was crown prince. He had responsibilities. He had to be disciplined. He couldn’t let some impulsive fancy ruin him. The only reason he was being allowed to go to Hatsetsu was because his parents thought he would get this out of his system. They thought what he felt for Yuri was a wild infatuation that would burn itself out after a few days of closer acquaintance. 

Victor wanted to prove them wrong, but he was willing to admit that there was a possibility they were right. He didn’t know Yuri, not really. There was a chance that Victor would meet him again and all the magic would be gone. Still, Victor knew that he would spend the rest of his life wondering what might have been if he didn’t take this chance. 

The journey to Hatsetsu would be long. He would first need to travel to the south coast and then sail across the ocean to the island kingdom and round the coast to Hatsetsu' port. It would take more than a month to get there even if the weather was favourable. After the weeks he'd spent working out how to ask his parents, and their attempts to change his mind, it would mean he would finally see Yuri nearly three months after their original meeting. What would Yuri think about that? Would he be waiting for Victor to follow him? Or would he assume that his marriage proposal had been ignored? 

Victor prepared for the journey, which involved organising his own belongings and speaking to staff to provision the ship. They would also need items as gifts for Yuri's family and to trade when they arrived, since he was supposed to be organising trade agreements as part of his cover. He also needed to make sure he wouldn't lose his mind during the journey. He packed plenty of books, going through the library for anything in Yuri's native tongue. Fortunately, language lessons had been part of his training, but he wanted to practice. He would spend as much time as possible working in the other language so that he would be able to speak to his future husband in his own words. 

It took far longer than Victor would have liked to prepare everything, but at last the time came and he was able to bid farewell to his parents, to his cousin Yuri, and to Yakov. They all gathered in the courtyard, next to the carriage Victor was to ride in for the first part of his journey. His escort of knights stood nearby with their own horses, but distant enough to give the royal family privacy for their conversations. Yakov glared at Victor like this journey was a personal betrayal. The two of them hadn't really spoken since Victor's parents had announced their decision and it was clear that Yakov wasn't happy about any of this. 

"I'll see you soon, Yakov," Victor said. 

"How can you do something so foolish, Vitya?" Yakov demanded, the softness of the familiar nickname balanced out by the harshness of his tone. 

"I'm sorry I can't do what you want me to do this time." 

"When have you ever done what I want you to?!" Yakov yelled. Across the courtyard, the knights were very carefully pretending not to listen. 

"Goodbye, Yuri," Victor said, reaching out to ruffle his cousin's hair. 

"I can't believe you're going after that asshole," Yuri complained. 

"Language!" Victor's mother snapped at him. 

"He's just some foreign idiot. I can't believe you want anything to do with him." 

Victor's father stepped forward and put a hand on Victor's shoulder. "I'm not sure I understand it either," he said, "but this journey should be good for you. You have a lot to learn about diplomacy and trade, and it was time you started taking a more practical stance in these areas. It's going to be a good lesson. And what happens with this other Yuri may prove to be a good lesson for you as well." 

Meaning that he expected Victor to come home disillusioned about love. He expected that nothing about this journey would live up to Victor's goal. He would find Yuri and fall out of love as quickly as he'd fallen into it, or find a young man who believed in duty too much to accept a marriage proposal, or who had parents who would ban the match. One way or another, Victor's parents assumed that Victor would be returning without a fiancé. 

The more people told him this, either directly or indirectly, the harder it was getting for Victor to hold on to his hopes. 

He said his farewells, ruffled his cousin's hair again, and then climbed into the carriage. Out in the streets, people were gathered to bid him farewell, waving at his carriage as he went past, calling his name or cheering at his passing. Victor leaned out of the carriage window to wave at the people, smiling at those who cheered for him. They didn't know what this journey was really about. Victor wondered if they would cheer more for him or less if they knew that he was sailing off to find a man to marry. He hoped his people would be more accepting of his love than his parents were. 

As they left the city, Victor closed the window and retrieved a book. He made himself as comfortable as he could in the moving carriage and attempted to read. He had a long way to go and he couldn't spend the whole time just wondering what it would be like when he saw Yuri again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but I didn't want to waste too much time getting Victor and Yuri reunited. :)

Victor was sick of traveling. He thought he might throw himself overboard if he had to spend much longer seeing the same decks, the same empty sea, the same endless sky. At first, the sea voyage had been bracing, even exciting. He'd watched the crew of the ship do their work skilfully, clambering about the rigging and performing tasks Victor couldn't ever hope to understand properly. He'd watched the waves and the way the ship cut through the water. He'd watched the horizon for signs of changing weather and tried to spot fish in the depths below them. 

That had been weeks ago. Now he would gladly burn this ship to ashes while he stood on it. 

When the weather was rough, he was ordered to remain in his cabin by the captain, who thought he'd get in the way of the sailors performing the duty. Victor stayed between wooden walls and tried to keep the contents of his stomach from spewing out. When the weather was fine, the wind dropped away and Victor began to fear that they'd remain on the sea forever, unmoved by so much as a breeze, unable to reach their destination. The days when the weather was something in between seemed far too few, and even they were full of boredom and the same, preserved food meal after meal, and not enough clean water for a proper bath. 

He tried to pass the time in conversation with the crew of the ship, but most were nervous around him, bowing repeatedly and simply agreeing with his statements, unwilling to make genuine conversation with him because of his position. Even those who would actually dare to speak to him had duties to attend to, work to occupy their time. He quickly came to accept that everyone on this ship had a purpose that he didn't and his attempts to alleviate his boredom were only causing frustrations for everyone else. So he tried to find ways to occupy himself quietly on his own, but he tired of that very quickly. 

He'd read every book he'd brought with him. He'd tried writing down what he would say to Yuri when they saw each other again, other to tear up every attempt. He tried to keep himself together with his thoughts of what their meeting might be like. Perhaps Yuri's parents would throw a welcome banquet and Victor would get to dance with Yuri again. 

Perhaps, Yuri would smile at Victor the way he had at the banquet. Perhaps Yuri would let Victor kiss him, let him touch him, let him see how that lithe body would move in something other than dancing. 

The nights when Victor lay awake on his uncomfortable bunk, he pictured what his first night with Yuri might be like. 

But there were other days and other nights, when he told himself he was being a fool. He was inventing some imaginary person because he didn't know the real Yuri. He might reach Hatsetsu and find out that Yuri was nothing like this figment he dreamt up. He might hate the real Yuri for not living up to his fantasies. All that he was dreaming of might come crashing down around him and it would turn out that his parents and Yakov were right. Victor tried not to think about that, but he couldn't help it sometimes. He might go home alone and be forced to admit his foolishness. 

As the journey dragged on, those thoughts came more often than the happy ones. 

Then a sailor called out at the sight of land. Victor rushed to the front of the ship, watching a green land take shape from the horizon. He wanted to weep for the sight of it. It wasn't Hatsetsu, but it was land. They'd had only one brief stop for provisions during their journey and they would have another now. They would take on fresh water and some fresh vegetables, but Victor would have only one night on shore before they would sail again, rounding the coast to their final destination. Still, it felt like heaven to stand on the dock, although Victor wasn't entirely sure the ground was stable beneath his feet. It seemed to shift beneath him as the ship had done. 

Victor joined the captain and first mate in their discussions with the harbour master, taking the opportunity to practice the local language. Then he went to the recommended inn and spoke to the owner about a room for the night. He didn't introduce himself as a prince, but two of the ship's men-at-arms insisted on accompanying him, and his clothes had be fine before they'd endured the weather and travel, so it would be obvious that he was a rich guest. So it was unsurprising when the innkeeper gave him the best room and the best food. The innkeeper offered to find him the best women too, but Victor declined and said that he would prefer a learned person to speak to. He ended up sharing dinner with a wealthy young man, who was happy to talk with the royal stranger. Victor complained about having read all his books and the two of them arranged to exchange a few volumes, so Victor ended up sailing on the next day with some new books about the history and culture of Hatsetsu. 

Victor's excitement built again on this final stage of the journey. The coastline was nearly always in sight, making it harder for the thoughts of despair to sneak up on him. He had his new books, and reading them made him feel like he was learning something about Yuri. He studied the customs, unfamiliar to him, and tried to imagine what this would mean for Yuri. The descriptions of formality and strong sense of duty didn't quite mesh with the wild young man that Victor had met. Perhaps they were both trying to escape the stifling bonds of duty. 

When the ship rounded an outcropping of land one evening, Victor saw a sheltered bay, with a harbour for large ships and a small fishing port beside it. Wooden and stone buildings rose up the gentle slopes of the hills beyond them, with a castle overlooking them all. Bathed in the golden light of sunset, the place was like a shining jewel. 

It was too late for them to go to the castle today. They certainly couldn't expect the lord and lady of Hatsetsu to welcome a royal guest with no notice, so Victor sent a messenger up to the castle to announce that Victor would be paying his respects the following day. Victor settled into his bunk for hopefully the last time in a very long while. 

He spent half the night awake, imagining the reaction of his future husband. Imagining the reaction of Yuri's parents. What would they think to the arrival of a prince from another land? Victor had never met either Lord Toshiya or Lady Hiroko. Neither of them tended to travel far from their homeland. The information Victor had gained during his stay at the inn was minimal, though people seemed to agree that Lord Toshiya was a good ruler and that he and his wife were very kind. Of course, it was entirely possible that people said such things out of fear of a cruel tyrant, but it was hard to believe that given what Victor had seen of Yuri. He wanted to believe that Yuri's parents were kind people and that they would accept this marriage with joy out of a desire to see their son happy. 

Still, Victor knew he couldn't just march in there and propose. He had to play the diplomat and he had to respect his own parents' wishes to keep the potential marriage a secret for as long as possible. He tried to factor that into his considerations for the upcoming meeting, but it was hard not to let his fantasies run away with him. 

In the morning, Victor sent for fresh water and scrubbed away the grime of travel and the salt of the sea as best he could. He longed for a real bath, but he would have to make do with this for now. He dressed in the clothes he'd hung out the night before, hoping to get the worst of the creases out of them. He'd made sure to keep an outfit ready, knowing that he wouldn't want to wear something travel-stained for his reunion with his future husband. He also wanted to make a good impression on Yuri's parents, and he was supposed to be representing his country. The clothes had survived the journey intact and, when he pulled the long coat on over the clean shirt and trousers, they appeared smart enough. His shoes were newly polished, his hair was carefully brushed, and he wore a gold chain around his neck to show his wealth and status. He hadn't brought any of the more pretentious jewellery with him. He didn't want to make too big a show of his title and rank before the marriage proposal. He really wanted Yuri to marry him for himself, not for his position. 

At last, Victor climbed down from the ship, finding the land here just as unstable as it had been at the previous port. He remained standing straight though as he walked to the carriage Lord Toshiya had sent for him. Large boxes were already loaded on the roof of the carriage by a couple of men from the ship - his gifts to Yuri's family. Victor climbed into the carriage, some crewmen climbing up beside the driver to act as servants and bodyguards, and then the carriage started moving through the town. Crowds had gathered on the street to watch him. Some cheered, others waved, but most just looked at him with curiosity. Victor guessed that they didn't get many royal visitors here. He didn't have to fake a smile as he waved to the crowd. His stomach was tying itself in anxious knots, but the excitement was overruling his fear and he smiled widely as the carriage drove through the narrow streets up towards the castle. 

It seemed to take forever to get there, but finally the carriage stopped in front of the building, more wood than stone, that didn't resemble the castles back home in the slightest. Victor peered at the strange architecture for a moment and then walked up the steps to the main entrance. Inside, nobles and wealthy citizens were gathered to greet him. 

A servant called out his arrival, "His Royal Highness, the Crown Prince Victor Nikiforov." The man spoke in first the local language then Victor's native tongue. 

Victor paused at the doorway and gave a short bow before continuing through the room to where the Lord and Lady stood to welcome him. Victor's heart was pounding so loudly he thought his chest might explode as he saw, standing a few steps behind his parents, Yuri was staring right at him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Prince Victor," said Lord Toshiya, dropping to his knees and bowing deeply, "welcome to Hatsetsu. You do us great honour with your presence." 

Beside him, Lady Hiroko knelt too, bowing her head down to her hands. There was a rustle of movement from all directions and soon everyone in the room was on their knees except for Victor and those who had come with him from the ship. He was glad he'd read the books on local customs or he might have been alarmed by this reaction. Back home, people didn't bow to the ground like that even to the king. 

"Lord Toshiya," Victor said, "it is you who do me honour, accepting me into your home as your guest." He bowed in the fashion of his own homeland, bending a knee, bringing an arm in front of him, and bending at the waist. He couldn't kneel before this man due to his own rank, but he hoped the gesture would be understood for the sign of respect it was. 

"Please," Victor continued, "rise."

Lord Toshiya stood, but the others in the room stayed where they were. Victor looked at Yuri, at the dark hair and the back of his head, at the curve of his back. He couldn't see Yuri's face, didn't know whether the other man was happy to see him or not. 

"Your visit to our humble territory is a great surprise," Lord Toshiya continued. "We do not often get visitors of your station." 

The surprise seemed genuine. Even with the night they'd had to prepare themselves for this meeting, Lord Toshiya still seemed confused that Victor was standing in front of him. He seemed almost afraid, though he was doing his best to hide it. There was just a trace of the emotion in his eyes that Victor was standing close enough to catch, even while the rest of his face was a neutral mask. So either Yuri hadn't told his parents about the marriage proposal or they hadn't expected Victor to accept. That was not really unexpected either way. 

"I hope this will be the first of many such visits," Victor said. "I am here on behalf of my family to strengthen ties between my kingdom and yours. I hope that the friendship we build between us here may last for generations to come." 

Lord Toshiya looked a little relieved at those words, at the promise of friendship. Victor would have laughed if it weren't so impolite. What was Toshiya expecting? For Victor to have come here to declare war or something? Well, hopefully the next part of this exchange would ease any feelings of concern he might have. 

"I hope that friendship will last too," Toshiya said. 

Victor gestured behind him to where his men were setting down the last of boxes of gifts, which they'd been carrying in during the exchange of greetings with Toshiya. Three large trunks were now set on the stone floor of the entrance hall. Victor continued, using the phrases he'd practiced on the ship and checked during his stay in the inn to make sure that the wording was right. 

"In gratitude for your generosity in hosting me," Victor said, "I would like to present you with these gifts. I offer you a selection of fine furs from my kingdom's northern territories. I also present a selection of the beverages commonly drunk in my land." Not that he was hoping Yuri would get drunk on them and display his dancing skills again or anything like that. "Finally, I would like to offer you a selection of fine items crafted in silver and gold made by the artisans of my home city." 

That got another look of surprise, but only briefly. Toshiya quickly resumed his carefully controlled expression. The furs and alcohol could easily be explained as samples of his kingdom's wares as part of a negotiation of trade. That he would bring gifts of gold and silver were signs that he was after something much more significant. It should ease the man's concerns that this visit was intended to be a good thing. People didn't offer gold to people they wanted as enemies. 

"Your reputation for generosity is well-earned," said Toshiya. "I and my family will endeavour to do whatever is necessary to ensure that your stay here as pleasant as such kindness deserves." He bowed again, then gestured to his wife beside him, "Your highness, may I present my wife Hiroko." 

"A pleasure to meet you," Victor said, bowing again. Lady Hiroko straightened up from her bowed position and stood, offering polite words of greeting in response. Then Toshiya gestured behind him. 

"This is my son Yuri." 

"It is good to see you again, Yuri," Victor said. Yuri straightened up sharply, staring at Victor in surprise and making a strange noise in the back of his throat. It sounded like a small creature being strangled. Victor didn't laugh, though he was tempted. Yuri just made another strange noise that didn't resemble any known language. His face showed confusion. He clearly hadn't learned his father's skill at retaining composure. 

When it became clear that Yuri wasn't going to give a greeting appropriate to a royal visitor, Toshiya continued, "I'm sure your journey has been long and tiring. Before we discuss business or ties between our lands, it would be our honour to offer you refreshment and rest, Prince Victor. Please join me and my family for a small meal." 

"Thank you, Lord Toshiya. I would be honoured to accept." 

Hiroko finally stood. Behind her, Yuri stayed on the ground for a few moments longer, continuing to stare at Victor in a stupefied manner. It was hard to believe that this frozen figure was the same person who had danced so vivaciously at the banquet back home, but Victor could accept that he'd taken Yuri by surprise. He probably had assumed that Victor had been refusing him when he'd failed to return the declarations of love. Well, now was Victor's chance to prove that wrong. 

Victor held out a hand to Yuri and smiled, "Yuri. It would be my pleasure to eat with you." 

Yuri finally started moving. He reached out and placed his hand in Victor's, letting Victor help him to his feet. He continued to stare at Victor in a dazed manner the entire time, but once he was on his feet, they walked together after Yuri's parents and into the heart of the castle. 

Victor was taken to a pleasant room decorated with flowers and silk hangings, with a number of low tables surrounded by cushions. Victor had been expecting this, having seen the dining arrangements at the inn, but he wasn't sure he could spend the length of a meal sitting in the formal manner that was probably expected. He probably should have spent some of the endless voyage practicing that, but it hadn't really occurred to him until he'd reached this country. He decided that the best way to approach this was to just admit the truth, rather than attempting to kneel across the table from then and finding that he had to move a few minutes later. 

"I hope you will forgive me," he said, "if I sit in a way you might consider informal. I am unused to these sort of seating arrangements." He gestured towards the low table. 

"I apologise, your highness," said Lord Toshiya. "I should have realised. I am sure we can find some furnishings that will be more suitable." 

Victor cut him off before he called for a servant, "That's not necessary, my lord. As long as you can accept that I may need to move about more than is usual, I am sure I can make myself comfortable here. After all, I have come to your land so I should at least attempt to do things in the way that is usual here." 

"Then please, sit, but do not hesitate to ask if you need us to change the furnishings to suit you." 

Victor felt more than a little uncomfortable that the lord would rearrange his rooms to suit Victor, but he smiled and acknowledged the offer as politely as he could. He took a seat on the cushions, sitting cross-legged as he used to do when he was a child. Lord Toshiya and Lady Hiroko knelt at the other side of the table while Yuri knelt at one of the shorter ends, positioned between them. A servant approached and set a tea tray down on the table before quietly departing. 

Lady Hiroko prepared the tea herself, going through a series of actions that seemed to be as formal as any royal function, each step completed in precise, careful motions. No one said a word as she measured leaves and poured water and moved delicately through the process. When she had poured the first cup, she offered it to Victor with a bow of her head, holding the cup in both hands. Victor bowed in response and took the tea cup in the same manner. 

At last, they each had their tea and Victor sipped the hot drink slowly. This was very different from the afternoon teas Yakov had arranged to try and find him a female marriage partner, but there was some of the same awkwardness and formality that had made most of those occasions strained. 

"We can provide you with a variety of foods," Lord Toshiya said. "I'm sure you must have struggled to get fresh food on your journey, so please, tell us what you would like to eat." A servant stood behind the lord, waiting to hear the order. Victor hadn't been expecting to receive a choice like this, or he would have spent more time studying the local cuisine. Right now, after all those weeks traveling, he was sure he would enjoy anything that didn't taste of salt, but he had been offered this choice so he couldn't just say he didn't know, at least not in those words. But he also couldn't just name a random food and hope that they had it available or were able to prepare it, especially since the kitchen staff probably wouldn't be familiar with the dishes that Victor was most used to, any more than the staff back home would know how to cook the meals that were served regularly here. Victor fought for a way to pose his dilemma that wouldn't be seen as insulting. 

"I know very little about your local delicacies," Victor said, "so it's hard to know what to choose. Yuri, what is your favourite food?" 

Yuri looked stunned to have been addressed and it took him several moments to find words to answer, "Oh, um, well, er, my favourite food is, well, it's katsudon. It's a dish made with pork cutlet and rice and egg." 

"I will have one of those then," 

Yuri looked more nervous now than when he'd first been asked the question. Victor wondered what had happened to that wild, confident young man who had asked him for a dance. Perhaps he'd just behaved so freely because he was away from the constraints of his home and family. Whatever the reason, Victor was determine to coax that wild man out again. 

"You don't have to eat something just because I like it," Yuri said. 

"I am determined to at least try it," Victor said, "since you like it so much." 

Yuri's cheeks flushed faintly pink and Victor remembered again the way his cheeks had coloured from the effort of dancing. The servant bowed and made his way from the room to see to the food arrangements. Victor took another sip of his tea and glanced around the room, making sure that there were no other servants waiting. Some servants were very skilled at avoiding being noticed and not all of them could be trusted to remain quiet about whatever they might happen to overhear. Victor remembered his instructions from his parents, but he had no desire to disguise what his true purpose was here from these people, who might soon be his family. 

"Lord Toshiya," Victor said, "I meant what I said about strengthening ties with your land. While I am here, I hope to discuss with you the potential for more trade between our lands, but that is not the only sort of tie I hope to create. I want you to understand that what I am about to say to you should remain in strictest confidence for the time being. A lot would need to be discussed before anything could be officially agreed upon and we do not want to spread rumours before a decision is finally settled, but you should know that my true purpose in traveling here is to explore the possibility of an alliance by marriage." 

"Marriage," Yuri said, his voice barely more than a whisper. 

Lord Toshiya and Lady Hiroko exchanged a look. They both seemed more than a little uncomfortable and extremely surprised. 

"You wish to marry Mari?" Lord Toshiya asked. Now it was Victor's turn to be surprised. It took him a moment to dredge up the fact from his memory that there was another child. Yuri had an older sister. 

"I should inform you," Lady Hiroko said, "that Mari is already engaged. The wedding date has been set and arrangements made. It would be most," she hesitated, "challenging to alter the arrangements at this point. I understand the great honour you are doing our house, but..." She hesitated again. Victor held up a hand to stop her and smiled. 

"There's no need to worry. I have no intention of disturbing the plans Mari has in place. It was in fact Yuri I was talking about." 

It seemed Yuri hadn't told his parents about his drunken proposal. That was only to be expected. Victor risked a glance at Yuri now, taking in the stunned expression. Victor gave him a reassuring smile. No doubt Yuri had come home believing he had been rejected and was taking some time to get used to the idea that Victor had accepted his offer. Victor could give him that time. 

Yuri's parents still seemed thoroughly confused. 

"You would like Yuri to marry one of your relatives?" Hiroko asked. 

"I would like Yuri to marry me," Victor said. 

There was a crash. Tea splashed all over the table from the broken cup and Yuri leapt back with a cry of pain as the hot liquid struck his skin. Victor quickly hurried to his feet, ignoring the pins and needles that shot through his legs as he rushed to Yuri's side, wanting to make sure that the young man wasn't hurt badly. 

"Are you alright?" Victor asked. He reached out to take Yuri's hand, to check that the skin wasn't burned. 

Yuri snatched his hand away from Victor and fled. Victor was left staring at his retreating back. 

That wasn't the reaction he'd expected.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we finally get Yuri's POV. :) 
> 
> I wondered how to get Pitchit's love of selfies into this story, so I translated it into him carrying a sketchbook everywhere and doing quick drawings everywhere he goes.

Yuri ran from the room, unable to cope with Victor's presence for a moment longer. And his parents, the way they'd stared at him when Victor had spoken about marriage. This was ridiculous and impossible. 

Yuri reached the gardens and slowed to a walk, trying to regain something resembling dignity as he hid himself amid the topiary. He expected to wake up at any moment, to find out that this was just some fantasy he'd dreamt up on hearing the news that Victor was coming to visit. He'd never even spoken to Victor. How could it be true that Victor would come all this way and ask to marry him of all people? There were so many ridiculous things about it that he was sure it must be a dream. Their respective genders were just one part of it, but then there was the fact that this was Victor, crown prince of a mighty kingdom, the most handsome man in existence. Why would he ever be interested in someone like Yuri? 

Yuri was sure he would wake up to discover that this was a dream, except the soreness of his hand felt too real. The pain when he'd been hit by the tea was not something he could have dreamt up. 

So this was real. His idol, the man he had loved from afar since he had first seen Victor's portrait and heard the stories of him, was in his home, talking about marrying him. 

Marrying him for diplomatic ties, he reminded himself. That almost made it worse. He had been prepared for a life in which Victor never knew he existed. After all, Yuri had been too scared at even introduce himself to Victor when he visited his kingdom, so he'd expected to spend the rest of his life watching from afar while Victor fell in love with someone else. Nothing could have prepared him for this situation, for Victor coming to him and asking to marry him for the sake of a diplomatic agreement. It felt like a sick parody of his heart's desire. 

It felt like some trickster spirit had decided to grant him everything he'd ever wanted but to do it in the most painful way possible. Yuri wouldn't have been surprised to see a fox looking at him from the bushes, laughing at his distress. 

Yuri would have to accept, of course. How could he possibly refuse a crown prince? Besides, it would be stupid to refuse this man coming here and offering so much that would help him and his land. An alliance with a kingdom as powerful as Victor's could bring trade opportunities and prestige and so much that would help his people. Refusing would potentially earn them an enemy who could wipe them from the face of the earth. Not that he thought Victor would do anything like that. Victor was, well, Victor. He was kind and noble and generous and good. He wouldn't come all this way and then declare war if things didn't go according to plan. He wasn't anything like that petty or cruel. 

Still, Yuri had to accept. Assuming Victor even still wanted to marry him after he'd made such a fool of himself. He'd broken a tea cup, nearly injured himself, and then run out of the room like a blithering coward. That was hardly the sort of behaviour expected of the future marriage partner of a crown prince. What even would his title be? Husband? Or would he be treated as a bride? Yuri didn't know what to expect out of a situation like this. Nothing about this situation was anything he could have ever prepared for. Of course, his behaviour was probably the least important factor in this proposition. After all, Victor didn't know anything about him. They'd never had so much as a conversation, so how could this proposal have anything to do with him personally? 

That thought gave him a cold, uncomfortable feeling in his stomach but he tried to ignore it. 

He took a moment to regain his composure as best he could and then he walked back into the castle. He paused long enough to go to a washroom and get a cloth which he soaked in cold water and wrapped around his hand. His rudeness would seem less severe if he feigned injury. He returned to the reception room and found his parents still talking to Victor. 

Victor got to his feet as Yuri walked in, the concern on his face appearing genuine as he took in the cloth. 

"I apologise for my rudeness," Yuri said, forcing the words out. They came out without a stammer, but still sounded forced and awkward. How was he supposed to marry this man when he could barely form a coherent sentence in his presence? Yuri bowed a little, staring at Victor's feet because it was easier than staring at his face. 

"No apology necessary," said Victor. "Are you badly hurt? Do you need medical attention?" 

Yuri regretted getting the cloth. It had seemed sensible at the time, but now Victor was acting like he had some life-threatening injury. 

"I'm fine," Yuri said. "It's minor. Nothing to worry about." 

"I'm glad to hear that." Victor put a hand on Yuri's arm and guided him back to the table. The warm fingers seemed to burn against Yuri's skin hotter than the tea, a gentle pressure that drove home the message that everything he knew about his life was crumbling around him. Yuri knelt on the cushions at Victor's side, much closer than he had been before. So Victor clearly still wanted this arrangement between them, despite Yuri's humiliating behaviour earlier. 

"Prince Victor was just telling us," Yuri's dad said, "that there is no need for you to make a decision immediately. He will be here for some weeks on this visit so there will be plenty of time for you to get to know each other, as well as time to discuss the legal details of any marriage treaty. You can discuss what this would mean for your future. We will keep this potential arrangement private for the moment so that either of you can choose not to go ahead with a marriage without anyone outside our two families needing to know about it." 

Which meant that Victor could change his mind at any point and knowing would know that he'd considered marrying Yuri. It was a sensible position for him to be in. Yuri nodded his understanding. 

He stared at the table in front of him. There was a katsudon bowl laid waiting for him. The bowls that the others were eating from had already been started. Clearly no one had been sure that he would come back. Yuri picked up his bowl and chopsticks and began eating. Beside him, Victor resumed his meal, commenting loudly about how delicious the food was. 

"I'm glad you like it," said Yuri's mum, when it was clear that Yuri wasn't going to make polite conversation. "It is a speciality of the region." 

"Well, I will have to ask your chef to provide a recipe for me to pass on to the chefs back home. I could eat this forever." 

Yuri smiled a little, pleased that Victor liked his favourite food. It was such a small thing and he knew he shouldn't read too much into it, but he couldn't help wondering what this might mean for their compatibility as a couple. Perhaps he could somehow make Victor fall in love with him over their shared enjoyment of pork cutlet bowls. He knew he was being ridiculous. 

The meal passed pleasantly enough, though Yuri said barely two words. Yuri's dad talked about throwing an official welcome feast in honour of Victor's visit. Even though the potential engagement was still a secret, the fact that a crown prince was visiting this small holding of land was a major occurrence. They didn't have long to organise something, but it was important to celebrate this somehow. They had already sent out invitations to the rich and influential people who lived close enough to possibly attend. It would be minor compared to the great banquet thrown in Victor's palace. Yuri hoped it wouldn't seem too feeble in comparison and lead to Victor deciding not to bother. Yuri was worried that anything he said or did could drive Victor away. 

As they finished their meals, Yuri's mother talked about the hot springs, "I'm sure you must be strained from your long journey, your highness. Our hot springs are extremely therapeutic. Please take full advantage of them." 

"I would be delighted," Victor said. "Perhaps Yuri could show me the springs and introduce me to their features." 

He flashed his smile in Yuri's direction again and Yuri was forced to look away. He couldn't face that brilliant perfection of those white teeth and sparkling eyes. There was something suggestive in the expression, not moving beyond the realms of politeness, but there nonetheless. Unless that was Yuri's imagination. It was probably Yuri's imagination. Victor was proposing this marriage as a treaty between their lands, not as something at all to do with attraction. 

"It will give us a proper opportunity to get to know each other," Victor continued. 

"Uh huh," Yuri answered, nodding, not trusting himself to say real words. He wasn't sure he could form a full sentence with Victor making comments like that. His mind instantly jumped to the thought of him and Victor _getting to know each other_ in the hot springs. Touching each other. Learning each other's bodies. Exploring the curves of each other's forms. 

Yuri was sure his face must be turning bright red. He stared down at the table and hoped that Victor couldn't tell what he was thinking. This was so humiliating. Victor probably wanted a perfectly civil friendship with someone he would be bonded to for life. He would probably freak out if he knew how Yuri was imagining being with him. 

When Victor stood, Yuri followed suit. Yuri swallowed around his desire and tried to keep his thoughts clean. 

"This way, your highness," he said. 

"Please," another brilliant smile, "call me Victor." 

"V- Victor." He stammered out the name. It felt strange on his tongue, though he'd said it often enough in conversations about this man. Somehow it was different when saying it to him. He couldn't quite meet Victor's gaze as he said the name. Instead, he showed the way out of the room and towards the hot springs. 

"I hope you will show me around the town here as well," Victor said. "What little I saw from the way up here seemed very pleasant." 

"It's a nice town," Yuri said, somehow managing to say something that didn't sound moronic. It wasn't exactly shining wit, but it was better than nothing. 

"What is your favourite place here?" 

"My bedroom," Yuri answered. Then he tripped over his own feet and nearly fell. He would have fallen if Victor hadn't reached out and caught hold of Yuri's arm, helping him keep his balance. Yuri was too busy panicking about his words to shake off the touch. That was the worst possible answer he could have given. He was surprised he hadn't spontaneously combusted from the heat of his embarrassment. 

"Perhaps you should show me that as well." Victor said. There could be no doubting the suggestiveness of that statement. 

Yuri yanked his arm out of Victor's grip, stumbling a step away and nearly crashing into the wall in his effort to put some distance between them. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't cope with Victor touching him this way, making suggestions like that. All his hopes and dreams and desires were wrapped up in thoughts of being with Victor, but the idea of Victor making comments like this so casually was unthinkable. It was like the whole sham of a marriage. Victor was obviously trying to make the best of the situation that politics had placed him in, but it wasn't real. Victor didn't really want Yuri. Not the way Yuri wanted him. 

"What's wrong?" Victor asked. "Why are you running away?" 

"I'm not... I just... Um... The hot springs are through there." Yuri pointed his arm and then ran away in the opposite direction. 

He fled. There was no plan, no destination in mind. He ran to his bedroom and shut himself inside, sliding the door shut behind him and trying to breathe. A wave of panic threatened to overwhelm him at this astonishing situation. Victor Nikiforov, the man who was responsible for Yuri knowing he was interested in men, was downstairs, about to go into the hot springs. He was here to negotiate for a marriage with Yuri and kept making suggestive comments about the hot springs and Yuri's bedroom. Unless Victor thought Yuri was making suggestive comments? Perhaps Victor thought this was all a great joke. He might consider the idea of two men lying together as something ludicrous and he was happy to make comments about Yuri's bedroom because he didn't think there was anything that would ever happen. 

Would anything happen? It wasn't like Yuri would be expected to bear Victor's children, so it was entirely possible that the wedding would never be consummated. Yuri might end up Victor's husband but never be allowed to do the things he'd imagined doing. That would be worse than never even meeting Victor. 

Yuri was sure some powerful spirit was arranging matters just to torment him. 

He sat down on the floor beside his bed and let his eyes drift to the picture pinned up on the wall. It wasn't an official portrait, but it was unmistakably Victor. It was a beautiful drawing done with charcoal on plain paper, one of a number of sketches Pitchit had drawn. Pitchit loved his pictures, drawing his quick sketches to capture moments in his life he wanted to remember. He had gifted several of them to Yuri, including a more detailed drawing of the two of them together that was framed beside Yuri's bed. Pitchit had drawn the sketch of Victor after the two of them had toured a royal gallery during their travels together and Yuri had spent more than an hour staring at the full portrait of Victor that hung in a gilded frame. The little charcoal sketch didn't hold the magnificence of the portrait and even the portrait was a pale shadow compared to the man himself, but this picture had hung on Yuri's wall for years because he'd known he would never get closer to the real thing. 

Yuri didn't know what to do. If he had any confidence, he would go back to the hot springs and engage Victor in conversation. He would speak to the man and get to know with him and impress him with his wit and charm. He would return the smiles and win Victor over. 

The problem was that Yuri didn't know how to do any of that. He couldn't even open his mouth without sounding like a fool. He was never going to make Victor fall in love with him.


	7. Chapter 7

Victor didn't know what he was doing wrong. He was trying to be friendly, trying to make his attentions clear, but Yuri had just run away. It was been Yuri who'd approached him at the banquet and asked to marry him, so why was he now running away? Unless Yuri had been joking then or playing some trick on him, but Victor couldn't believe that. The way he'd danced had been no lie. 

None of this made sense. 

Victor stepped into the water of the hot spring, deciding that he might as well take the chance to get properly clean while he was here. He could think and enjoy the hot springs at the same time. After all that time traveling, with clean water so precious on the ship, he hadn't enjoyed a bath in far too long. It was heavenly to just sink his body into water that was hot enough to tingle against his skin. This was no lukewarm tub here, with water carried up from below for a distance enough to lose the heat over the time. He hadn't imagined something as simple as a bath could be so enjoyable but right now there were few things that would have made him happier. Victor took a deep breath and sank down beneath the surface, letting the hot water cover him completely, soaking his hair. 

He emerged, dripping, and wiped his wet hair back from his eyes. 

He would have been happier if Yuri were here with him, and not just because it would have let him see what lay beneath Yuri's clothes. He was intrigued to see more of what he'd seen at the banquet, to see the muscles that had let him move so smoothly. He would also have been happy for Yuri to be here because it would have meant Yuri was happy too. 

Was Yuri upset that Victor had accepted his proposition? There had been a number of nights when Victor had become extremely drunk and, usually at Chris's urging, done things that he had regretted the next day. In his case, those regrets had usually taken the form of bruises and scrapes and, on one occasion, a sprained ankle that had left him unable to walk for weeks. In Yuri's case, it was possible that he regretted asking Victor to marry him and had hoped that Victor would dismiss the idea for the foolishness that Victor's family thought it was. It was also possible that something had changed in the weeks since the banquet. Perhaps Yuri had taken a lover in that time. 

The thought sent a hot wave of jealousy through Victor, but he knew he had to be considerate of Yuri's feelings and it was entirely possible that someone else had fallen for his wild passion for life the way Victor had. Victor would have to ask him but as his potential fiancé he couldn't just ask directly if Yuri was sleeping with someone else because that might be seen as him accusing Yuri of unfaithfulness. Perhaps Victor could ease into the subject by asking about ex-lovers, maybe mentioning one or two of his dalliances, so that Yuri would know it was safe to admit it if there was someone else in his life. 

If Yuri had found someone else, Victor wasn't sure what he'd do. He couldn't bear the thought of just yielding without a fight, but it wouldn't be right to try and force Yuri's hand. He wanted Yuri to be with him for love, not because Victor pulled some underhanded scheme to make Yuri acquiesce. 

Victor sighed and leaned his head back on the edge of the bath, staring up at the sky overhead. He let his mind drift to pleasanter things for a while, like how strange it was to take a bath out of doors, but he couldn't keep his thoughts off Yuri for long. He would have to talk to Yuri, somewhere private where they wouldn't have to worry about Yuri's parents listening to every word. He would ask Yuri directly what the man wanted them to be. Did he want Victor here as a friend or lover or fiancé or something else entirely? He would give Yuri a little time to get used to the idea of him being here and then he would find a way to ask the question without any chance of misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Then they could decide together what they should do, whether they should continue with this marriage. 

If they were to be married, they would have to talk to each other. 

This decision made, Victor decided it was time to leave the bath. He wasn't sure how long he'd sat in the hot water, but his fingers had long-since wrinkled into shrivelled messes. It was strange not to have to worry about the water getting cold, but he couldn't stay in here forever, however nice it was. He stood and climbed up the steps out of the large bath, picking up the towel that an attendant had laid ready for him. He dried himself in the open air, the steaming water of the hot spring bath beside him, and then he walked into the anti-chamber within where his clothes were waiting for him. 

He would have to do something about clothes. The clothes he'd packed for the journey were rumpled and worn and had been washed far too infrequently. If there was to be a celebration in his honour, he would need something suitable to wear. This would at least give him something to talk about with Yuri that was an easier subject than whether Yuri wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Victor could approach Yuri and ask him for recommendations of local tailors who could prepare something suitable. They needed to talk to each other, to get to know each other properly, and Victor was happy enough to let the subject matter be something innocuous until they were more comfortable around each other. 

Another decision made, Victor checked that his appearance was suitably presentable, and then he emerged into the main castle. The problem with his plan was that he didn't know where Yuri was. He didn't know where anything here was. He probably should go to the rooms assigned to him and send a message to Yuri inviting him to speak to him, but Victor couldn't bear the thought of just sitting around waiting while a messenger hunted Yuri out. Victor would look himself. After all, he had a suspicion where Yuri might be. Yuri had already told him what his favourite place in Hatsetsu was. 

There were people walking around in the plain clothes of servants, carrying objects or cleaning equipment. Victor approached an older man who had been sweeping a hallway, who now stood to one side, head bowed respectfully. 

"Excuse me," Victor said, "where is Yuri's room?" 

The man bowed deeply and gave directions to a room in the upper floors of the castle. Victor thanked the man and started walking in the direction the man had indicated. He had to stop another servant when he got closer to clarify the directions, but soon he found himself at Yuri's door. Victor knocked on the wood. 

"Yuri," he called out, "may we speak?" 

There was a faint thumping noise from inside. Yuri, or someone at least, was definitely there, but there was no answer immediately. 

"Yuri?" Victor called again. He hoped that thump hadn't been Yuri hurting himself in surprise at Victor's arrival. 

"No. Um... Wait a moment." Yuri's voice sounded anxious, almost afraid. There were more strange noises from the other side of the door, scrabblings and scramblings that Victor couldn't work out at all. Victor wondered if he'd been right about Yuri taking a lover. Was there another man hidden inside? A man Yuri was now desperately trying to hide or sneak out somehow? 

Victor tried to squash down the surge of jealousy against this person who might not even exist. After a minute, the door opened a crack and Yuri peered out. He didn't seem hurt at least, that was a good thing. He also appeared fully dressed with no sign that Victor had interrupted a tryst. That was also a good thing. 

"May I help you, your highness?" Yuri asked. 

"Victor," Victor corrected, "please, and I hope so. I wanted your opinion on tailors." 

Yuri's expression was one of shock. Victor supposed his arrival at the door of Yuri's bedroom could have been interpreted as him wanted something considerably less innocent. Perhaps those scrambling noises had been Yuri preparing himself or his room for Victor's presence, but Yuri didn't seem inclined to invite Victor in, so Victor just smiled and continued with the subject that had brought him here. He explained about the state of his clothes and his desire to have something suitable for the welcome celebration that Yuri's family would be throwing in his honour. Yuri nodded, relaxing a little. 

"There is someone who makes most of our family's clothes," Yuri said. "We can invite him to the castle for a fitting or I could show you his business premises." 

"Please take me to his business. I would like to see more of this town." 

"Of course." 

Yuri emerged from his room, through the little crack he'd opened up, his body blocking Victor's view of the interior of the room. Then Yuri slid the door shut behind him before Victor had a chance to see within. 

***

Yuri had taken Pitchit's sketch of Victor off his wall and hidden it beneath his bed as soon as Victor came knocking, but he was still nervous about letting Victor into his bedroom. He could easily claim a need for propriety. After all, they were talking about marriage. If a man and woman were engaged in courtship then their families would want to make sure they were never alone together in case they followed attraction to its normal conclusion. Yuri could claim he didn't want Victor in his room for the sake of his virtue, or at least his reputation. He didn't want to imply that Victor would jump on him the moment they were alone but still the crown prince would understand that people talked. 

It was far more likely that Yuri would jump on Victor. The thought of joining Victor in the hot springs or being alone with him in his bedroom sent Yuri's mind to places that would probably horrify Victor if he found out. Victor might have been the one to mention marriage, but he wouldn't want to know that Yuri thought about him while he was alone in bed. 

Yuri was rapidly gaining more images to use for those bedtime thoughts. There was the way Victor flashed his perfect smile at him and now, in the tailor's shop, there was the sight of him without the outer layers of formal clothes. Victor stood in just a thin undershirt and his trousers, jacket and accoutrements all neatly folded to one side, while the tailor took measurements and engaged in discussions about whether the style should be what was fashionable here, or what was standard in Victor's home country. Yuri sat to one side, watching the tailor's hand touch Victor's arms and shoulders, judging the size and noting down measurements. Yuri wondered what it would feel like to do the same, to trace the curves of muscles beneath that shirt. He wondered what he would see if he unfastened the buttons of that shirt and let it slip from those shoulders. Would Victor's chest be smooth or would there be a faint covering of hair of the same spun silver that decorated his head? 

Yuri shifted in his seat. He had to stop these thoughts before he did something to humiliate himself in so public a place. But then Victor looked up at him and gave another of those smiles that could light up the world, and Yuri was lost again. 

This whole situation was hopeless. Victor, the man he'd idolised and admired for years, was right here, and Yuri couldn't form a coherent sentence because he was too busy lusting after the man like a dog in heat. 

"What do you think, Yuri?" Victor asked. 

"Huh?" was all Yuri could say. Victor had been talking to the tailor about something and Yuri hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention. 

"Should I dress in your local style for the welcome feast or would it be seen as presumptuous since I'm not one of your people?" 

Yuri thought of Victor dressed in the local fashion with all the many pleats and folds of cloth and thought it would be a shame to conceal so fine a body beneath so much material, but that thought was followed quickly by the imagining of removing all that cloth, removing the kimono, unfastening the hamaka, slowing stripping Victor naked from beneath the layers of formality. 

"I don't want to dress in the manner of your people without permission," Victor said, misinterpreting Yuri's long silence. "If it makes you uncomfortable for an outsider to dress like you, then tell me." 

"You need to wear it," Yuri said, a little too quickly and definitely too forcefully. He then swallowed nervously and tried to figure out a way to explain why he thought that without admitting that he'd been mentally undressing Victor. "I mean... That is... dressing as we would shows that you don't think your manner of dress is superior in some way. By dressing as we would, you show that you consider our traditions and culture as important as your own." 

Yuri hoped he didn't sound like a babbling idiot. He also hoped that the guests his parents invited to the celebration would see it the same way. The last thing he wanted was for them to dislike Victor for some reason, especially a reason he had orchestrated. It was possible that some of the guests would consider Victor's outfit as him attempting to steal their culture from them and Yuri didn't want anyone thinking so badly of Victor especially when it was Yuri who'd encouraged him in this for his own, selfish reasons. But Yuri couldn't change his words now without admitting why he'd really wanted to see Victor dressed traditionally. 

Victor seemed to just accept Yuri's words, returning his attention to the tailor and the discussion of fabrics and cuts. 

Yuri tried to keep his mind from drifting to anywhere it shouldn't go. He knew such resolve wouldn't last long. Just a glance at Victor sent his mind spirally into primal places. He was doomed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter, but I figured you'd prefer to get an update rather than wait for a longer one. Have some more nervous Yuri. :)

Yuri sat at his desk with pen and paper and started writing a letter to Pitchit. However, after writing the opening greeting, he got stuck. He couldn't lay all this out openly on paper. All it would take was one unscrupulous messenger breaking the seal and all Yuri's secrets would be revealed to the world. Yuri couldn't bear the thought that people, especially his family, would know the way his desires went. He'd learned long ago that people thought it a deviation that he looked at men the way he ought to look at women. He was afraid to ever put those thoughts down as ink on paper. On top of that, putting his thoughts down in a letter could involve Victor in this scandal, tarnish him with Yuri's taint. More importantly though, Victor had asked that they keep the proposed marriage a secret for the time being. If Yuri were to make the plans public, even inadvertently, it would be a betrayal of that trust. Worse, Victor might think Yuri had done it deliberately to force his hand, to commit him to this when he wanted an option to walk away. 

There were so many problems with writing a single word down that Yuri stared at the blank paper for more than an hour. Finally, he picked up his pen and wrote a few words. 

_My friend, I'm sure you will be surprised as I was when I tell you about the visitor my parents have welcomed to our castle. Crown Prince Victor Nikiforov is here on a diplomatic journey to improve trade and build friendship between our lands._

That much was public knowledge and so Yuri had no problem committing it to paper, but what could he say next? He had to trust in the fact that Pitchit knew him better than anyone. It was Ptichit who had caught him staring at Victor's portrait and worked out that Yuri was not admiring the picture for its artistic merit. It was Pitchit who had drawn the charcoal sketch of Victor's face from that portrait so that Yuri would have a Victor close at hand to admire. It was Pitchit who had talked to him without any judgement for the way his heart moved towards another man. 

Pitchit would read the words Yuri didn't write as well as those he did. 

_You know how I have always admired Prince Victor,_ Yuri wrote. _It is very strange to be here with him. I hardly know what to say to him and I fear that he finds me tedious company. I cannot rival his ease with speech. This is all the more embarrassing for me since he is speaking in my language and yet he seems more fluent than I. I will never be a diplomat of his equal if I cannot even speak to him._

He hoped that anyone who might happen to see this letter might read nothing more than the surface of the meaning, believing that Yuri was jealous because he was a nobleman's son and therefore expected to be an orator and diplomat. It would be natural for Yuri to express respect towards a man who embodied those traits, and to complain at his own lack of skill. Only Pitchit would understand what Yuri was trying to say about his difficulty talking to Victor. 

_It would be a great shame to waste this opportunity,_ Yuri continued, _but I struggle to have an intelligent conversation with him. I wish you were here to advise me. You were always so much better than I at making friends._

Again, an innocuous statement. No theoretical spy would think it odd that Yuri wanted to be friends with the crown prince of a powerful nation. But Pitchit was a cheerful flirt. He had always had an easy way of talking, a way of disarming people with a smile and a kind word, that made people fall in love with him from the first meeting. It was Pitchit who had driven their friendship at the beginning, deciding that the two of them should be friends because they were both foreigners visiting another court at the time. It had been Pitchit who had initiated conversations and arranged meetings until Yuri's initial shyness had worn away enough for him to respond with friendship. But it wasn't just Yuri that Pitchit was so friendly with. When they had travelled together, touring the great sights and many royal courts of their land as part of their education, Pitchit had found friends and admirers at every stop. Yuri didn't know how often, if ever, Pitchit had taken an admirer to his bed, but he was sure that there would have been plenty willing to go with him. 

Yuri wished he had Pitchit's easy manner. If Pitchit were here, he would at least be able to offer guidance and comfort. But Pitchit had returned to his own country shortly before Yuri had moved on to Victor's land as the final stop on his grand tour. It wasn't like the letter would do him much good. It would take weeks for this letter to get across the sea and find its way into Pitchit's hands, and then weeks for any reply to return. Yuri wished that there were some way to speak to each other more quickly, but as it was, by the time Pitchit's helpful words arrived, Victor would have long gone, probably driven away by Yuri's utter incompetence at interacting with another human being. 

Yuri stared at the letter. It was so short, but he was almost afraid of writing more in case he gave himself away. Still, it would be a waste to send a letter so brief. He forced himself to calm down and started writing all the things he would normally communicate to his friend. He wrote about his family and the preparations for Mari's wedding. He talked about Minako and how she still acted like he was a child in her etiquette classes half the time. The words came more easily as he kept writing, and soon he had a long letter about all the details of his life. It was nothing like the letters Pitchit sent back, which came with little sketches, but it was good enough. Yuri wrapped it up with a few words about the preparations for the welcome feast for Victor, and then he signed and sealed the letter. 

He stood, stretching out the muscles that had stiffened from sitting so long, and then went to find his father's secretary so that the letter could be included in the communications that went out. Yuri was still heading towards his father's study, letter in hand, when Victor rounded a corner. 

"Ah, Yuri," he said, that dazzling smile lighting up his face again, "how are you today?" 

"Very well, thank you, Prince Victor." 

"Please. Just Victor. I was wondering where you were this morning. You have been working?" He gestured to the letter in Yuri's hand. 

"No. Writing to my friend." Yuri hoped he wasn't blushing. He didn't want Victor to guess at the contents of the letter, even though he was certain no one could read into them the truth of his thoughts. At least, he hoped not. The longer it took to hand the letter over, the more nervous he became. What if he hadn't been nearly as subtle as he thought he'd been? What if Victor somehow saw the letter and knew that Yuri thought such things about him? 

"A special friend?" Victor asked. He must have seen Yuri's blush but misinterpreted it. 

Yuri shook his head quickly, not wanting to taint Pitchit. "No. Just a good friend. We toured together. Our parents wanted each of us to experience more of the world, to learn about other lands, to improve our speech in other languages, to expand our education in a more practical way. We met early on in our journey and became friends because we were strangers together in a new land. Now, we have each returned home, but we remain in contact." 

"That was what brought you to my kingdom?" Victor asked. "This tour?" 

"Yes. My final stop on the journey." Yuri was still a little surprised that Victor had even known he was there during his visit. Yuri had only remained at the palace a few days and he'd been a minor noble, far below the notice of the crown prince, and it wasn't like Yuri had ever made an attempt to speak to the other man. 

"You will have to tell me about it," Victor said. "You must have seen many interesting things in your travels." 

"Yes, I did," Yuri said, as his mind immediately went blank and his memory failed to retrieve anything interesting at all that had happened during those months. 

"Well, perhaps you would join me for lunch and we can discuss our experiences. I have travelled a little, though coming here has been my longest journey. I'm sure sharing stories and comparing our different accounts will bring us closer together." 

Victor stepped closer, still smiling, getting inside Yuri's personal space in a way that made Yuri want to either step back or just grab hold of Victor and never let go. Instead, Yuri remained frozen in place and forced a smile onto his lips. 

"Lunch would be nice," he said. 

"I look forward to it," Victor said. He stepped a tiny bit closer, making Yuri's heart race in his chest. Then Victor brought his hand up and caught Yuri's chin, tilting his head slightly as though he planned on coming in for a kiss. "I'm sure we'll find we have much in common." 

Yuri stepped backwards quickly, nearly falling over his own feet in an effort to put distance between them before he did something stupid. What if someone saw them like this? What would people think? 

"Excuse me. I have to find the secretary." 

He almost ran down the hallway leaving Victor to stare after him.


	9. Chapter 9

Once again, Victor was forced to watch as his betrothed fled from him. He needed to adjust his approach, that was becoming obvious. He almost couldn't believe that this was the same man who had been so wild and impulsive during the banquet, dancing with such wild abandon for dignity, uncaring of what anyone else might think of him. This nervous, restrained person in from of him was like a frightened animal. Victor might have expected Yuri to be more comfortable in his own home, not less. 

It was possible that Yuri had behaved so freely at the banquet simply because he wasn't at his own home. Here, he was surrounded by family and those who had known him from childhood. Perhaps Yuri cared more about their opinions than he had for the nobles of Victor's court, and so he cared more for etiquette and formality. Victor didn't want to think of the less pleasant options, but they crept into his thoughts nonetheless. Perhaps someone here had heard of how Yuri had behaved at the banquet and had punished him for it. After all, Yuri had vanished from the kingdom almost as soon as the banquet had ended. It was possibly he had been dragged home and made to suffer in the intervening weeks. 

If that was the case, Victor would have to be careful not to cause trouble for Yuri. He didn't want to be the reason Yuri suffered any distress. 

Much as Victor wanted to discard restraint and abandon caution, he had to think about what Yuri wanted. With every interaction, it became clearer that Yuri didn't want the closeness Victor wanted. Victor was forced to wonder if his family had been right and if this was some delusion on Victor's part, just an infatuation with no basis and, worse, no reciprocation. 

Victor had to be direct about it. He had to ask Yuri what he wanted, whether this wedding was something he even desired anymore. If Yuri said no, Victor wasn't sure what he would do. He knew he couldn't put his happiness above Yuri's. He wouldn't force Yuri's hand, that much was certain, but he didn't want to just return home and admit his failure. He had been given permission to stay a few weeks. Perhaps more time, along with conversations with Yuri, would let him understand what was going on with this shift of personality. 

For the lunch, Victor was shown into a small dining room, furnished as the others had been with a low table and cushions. He was really going to need to work on kneeling for a long time if he was to endure staying here. He suspected that the welcome feast would be served like this and he would be expected to stay in a dignified position throughout. Well, this would be good practice. He knelt on one of the cushions and looked at the array of food being set for the meal. There was rice and a variety of different fish, but also vegetable and meat dishes. And, of course, there were the pork cutlet bowls that he had so admired on his first day here. 

Yuri came in just as the servants were finishing laying out the food. Victor wondered if this was more of Yuri avoiding him, waiting until the last possible moment before coming into the room so as to reduce the amount of time they spent together. 

They started helping themselves to the food, with Yuri insisting that Victor serve himself first. These polite exchanges gave them a few minutes while the servants finished up and let themselves out. When the doors were shut and they were alone, Victor took a breath and tried to find a way to say what he needed to say. 

"Are you happy that I came here?" he asked. He'd decided that direct communication was the way to go about this so he might as well start with the obvious question. 

"What?" Yuri looked startled, nearly dropping the piece of pork he'd been about to eat. "Yes. Of course I'm happy. It's a great honour that you came here and this is a great opportunity for my land." 

"I'm not talking about your land," Victor said. "I want to know about you, personally. Are you happy that I came to visit you here?" 

Yuri swallowed. He didn't answer at once and Victor could barely breathe while he waited. What if Yuri said no? 

"Yes," Yuri said at last, and something unclenched inside Victor. "Yes, I'm happy you're here." 

Victor still couldn't relax though, not when there were so many questions left unanswered. He remembered his fears about why Yuri might be distancing himself, and the way he'd blushed when he'd held that letter this morning. Victor couldn't dismiss the thought that someone else might have fallen for Yuri's charms the way he had. 

"I'm not getting in the way of you and someone else?" Victor asked. "I wouldn't want to interfere if you would prefer to be spending time with a lover." 

A chopstick hit the table with a clatter and a spray of fish sauce. Yuri started to gather up the dropped object and then clearly thought better of the idea, instead setting down the bowl and the other chopstick so that there was nothing left for him to drop. After the way he'd dropped tea during their first meal here, that might have been wise. Victor waited to hear the worst, wondering if Yuri’s reaction had been because of surprise at being caught. 

"I don't have a lover," Yuri said. 

"Any ex-lovers?" Victor asked, because that might also explain Yuri's reluctance. If he was hurting from a bad romantic experience, he might be hesitant to enter into a new relationship so soon. 

Yuri just bowed his head, cheeks turning that delightful pink again, "No ex-lovers either." 

Victor nodded. He resumed eating, giving them both a few moments to think. He was glad that he didn't have to be jealous of anyone. There was no one in Yuri's life who would stand in the way of the wedding. Still, this didn't bring Victor any closer to understanding why Yuri would be so distant now after how enthusiastically he had approached Victor before. 

"What do you want me to be to you?" Victor asked. 

"What?" 

"I am here to represent my country, but how you and I are to each other is up to us. Do you want me to be just an ally from a foreign power? A mentor?" The words were difficult for Victor to say, but if Yuri agreed, he would do his best to be what Yuri wanted him to be. 

"No," Yuri said. 

"A friend?" 

"No," Yuri said again. 

"So, your lover then?" Victor smiled, starting to relax for the first time this meal. "Very well, we can-" 

"No!" Yuri snapped, flailing his hands wildly in a gesture of denial that nearly dislodge one of the dishes. Once again, Victor almost forgot how to breathe. If Yuri didn't want him as a friend or a lover, what then? Victor didn't want to accept that Yuri might not want him in his life at all. 

Yuri continued, "Just be you. That's all I want." 

"Alright," Victor said. It wasn't the answer he wanted, but it was an answer. Yuri didn't want him as a lover. He'd made that perfectly clear. Victor would stop pushing. He wouldn't mention the wedding again unless Yuri brought it up first. But Yuri hadn't asked him to leave, so Victor would stay. He would engage in trade discussions and treaty negotiations. He would enjoy the welcome feast. He would try to spend time with Yuri, just talking, but he wouldn't try to kiss him or try to hold him. He would keep his distance physically and try to keep his thoughts from straying to places that Yuri obviously didn't want them to go. It would be difficult, but Victor would try to respect Yuri's wishes, and that meant no longer imagining what it would be like to take Yuri into his bed. 

Victor forced himself to keep going with this meal, to not break down in tears at Yuri's rejection, at the shattering of all his dreams for their future together. 

He remembered their conversation this morning and asked about Yuri's travels, trying to focus on just being here. He wouldn't push. If Yuri wasn't comfortable being lovers, or discussing the possibility of marriage, then Victor would just have to respect that. As they exchanged stories of their respective travels, Victor made a promise with himself never to act so forward again. Not unless Yuri invited him to.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And enter Minako. :) 
> 
> Warning for some internalised homophobia in this chapter.

The day of the welcome feast had arrived. The castle was full of people making preparations. The whole place would be cleaned and decorated. Some of the guests had already arrived and needed to be taken to their accommodation. The chefs had brought in outside staff to help with the preparations for the meal. There were musicians and entertainers setting up to show off their skills while the guests ate. Yuri tried to stay out of the way of the flurry of activity, retreating to the garden so that he wouldn't interfere with anyone doing their jobs. He strode between the shrubs and flowers, hoping he wouldn't embarrass himself tonight. He would probably stuff himself with too much food, as was his habit, but he was more concerned about the amount of wine that would be flowing. He had a tendency to drink when he got nervous and he wasn't known for dignity or restraint when he was drunk. The last thing he needed was to fling himself on Victor while his inhibitions were lowered. 

"There you are," a voice said. Yuri jumped, startled, and flailed a little as he spun to see the speaker. Minako walked through the garden towards Yuri. 

"Oh. Hi." At least it wasn't Victor. 

"You look surprisingly miserable," Minako said, "especially for someone whose idol is staying with you. I'd have thought you'd have been thrilled to have Victor here." 

"I am. I mean, I'm happy he's here, I just..." Yuri sagged. "I'm useless around him." 

"Well, you're never going to win his heart like that." 

"I know. Wait. What?" 

"What happened to your posture?" Minako snapped and Yuri straightened instinctively. Years of lessons on poise and etiquette had drilled instant obedience into him when Minako used that tone. "And what's going on with that gut? You'll have to wear something to hide that before the feast if you want to look your best for Victor. And smile. Stop looking so terrified." 

"You yelling at me to not look terrified isn't exactly calming," Yuri snapped back. 

"Well you can't just stammer and cower if you want Victor to fall in love with you." 

Yuri felt cold, like someone had replaced his blood with ice. He wasn't sure he could remember how to breathe. All his secret thoughts, all his hidden desires, where out in the open between them now. His teacher, someone he respected wholeheartedly, was talking about his shameful desires as though they were obvious. 

"What... Why would I want Victor to fall in love with me?" 

"Oh, stop pretending, Yuri. I know you've dreamt about being with him since you first laid eyes on his picture." 

"You... you knew about that?" 

"Of course, Yuri. I know you." 

She was smiling, looking at him like he didn't matter that she'd known forever that he was different from everyone else. 

"You don't mind?" Yuri asked. He didn't understand. Minako was the person who always cared about what was expected and proper. She cared about everything he said and did, from his posture as he stood to the way he greeted his people when out in public. She would be the last person he expected to let him get away with displaying such deviance. 

"Why would I mind?" Minako asked. "You can't help who you are attracted to." 

"But it's... different." 

Minako frowned at him for a minute and then said, "Not as different as you might think. When you were at Victor's court did you meet a man named Christophe Giacometti?" 

"I saw him. I never actually spoke to him." He hadn't spoken to many people there. Pitchit had already started his journey home at that point and Yuri had come to rely on him to make friends and then introduce Yuri. Without him, Yuri had felt lost and isolated and had spent a lonely few days just drifting before coming home himself. He'd seen Chris though, and heard the stories. He'd heard the stories long before he'd even reached Victor's court, about this young man, heir of a barony, who took lovers almost every night. Half the women in half the courts of the world would have loved to share Christophe's bed, but no one dared hoped he'd settle down for them. 

"Well, when I was a dancer," Minako said, "there was a young man in our group who had spent an apparently very enjoyable night in Christophe's company." 

"Christophe sleeps with men?" Yuri asked. "But what about all those women?" 

"As I understand it, he isn't exactly picky about gender. The dancer wasn't the only one. There were even rumours that he and Prince Victor had slept together, though the royal advisors were very quick to squash those sorts of stories." 

Yuri should have felt happy. If Victor was interested in sleeping with men, then perhaps Yuri's dreams weren't so hopeless after all. But if he'd slept with someone like Christophe, how could Yuri ever compare? He didn't have the skill or experience or anything to satisfy someone who'd known a skilled lover. If anything, it made the situation more hopeless, because now Yuri knew that Victor would always be comparing him to someone else. 

"I've seen the way Victor is around you," Minako said. "I think you are worrying too much. He has made his intentions clear." 

Minako hadn't been there for the conversation about marriage, and Yuri didn't think his parents would have said anything after Victor's instructions to keep this secret, but if even she thought that there was a chance Victor was interested, then maybe she was right. Maybe this wasn't hopeless. But in some ways that was almost worse. If Victor wasn't interested in Yuri because he wasn't interested in men, that was perfectly understandable and Yuri could find some way to make himself happy with that, but if Victor was potentially interested in men but not in Yuri, then it was specifically Yuri he was rejecting. Worse than that, if he was potentially interested in Yuri in theory but then rejected him later, once he got to know him, then that rejection couldn't be blamed on anything superficial. Victor had been trying hard to get to know Yuri and if he backed away now, Yuri would know he only had himself to blame. 

"Yuri, are you even listening to me?" Minako asked. 

"Minako, I don't know what to do." 

"I've told you want to do. Keep your posture upright and wear something that flatters your appearance." 

"But that's not enough. What if he wants to talk to me again?" 

Minako looked at Yuri like he was hopeless. "At the meal tonight, remember to smile, especially if he's talking directly to you, and laugh when he makes a joke. But not too much, you don't want a repeat of the incident when miso soup came out your nose. Look him in the eye, but don't stare. Try and complement him, but make sure it's sincere. If he is telling a story, try telling a story of something similar that's happened to you, but only when he's finished. The last thing you want to do is interrupt him. Remember to nod while he's talking to show that you're listening, but only at appropriate times. And just be yourself, it's that simple." 

Nothing about that seemed simple. Yuri had lost track of her thread somewhere after the instruction to smile. He had a feeling he would spend the entire meal looking like a blank-eyed moron. It would be simpler to hide in the gardens forever until everyone went away. 

But Minako just smiled and said, "You'll be fine. Now let's find you something to wear. And don't slouch."


	11. Chapter 11

Yuri's hands were sweating so much he was afraid they were going to stain his kimono. He was expected to sit with Victor for an entire meal and make polite conversation with him while the eyes of every rich and powerful person in the local area were on them. Yuri was sure he was going to make a fool of himself. He'd already burned himself on tea and kept dropping things whenever Victor was close to him. He was going to drop food down the front of the smart outfit that Minako had insisted was the perfect choice for him. It was black and set with silver decorations that glittered when he moved, and was far tighter than he would ever normally wear. Beneath it, tight fabric held his stomach in to make him look slimmer, which might be a problem later when all the food came. 

He hoped it was worth it. When Victor looked at him, his eyes trailed up and down Yuri's body for some moments, but it was entirely possible he was laughing at Yuri secretly. Yuri felt exposed and awkward, but it was worth being here to see Victor, who was wearing the new outfit the tailor had made for him. The cloth draped over him with perfect artistry, but his silver hair still made him stand out in the crowd of dark-haired guests. 

"How do I look?" Victor asked. 

"Incredible," Yuri answered. He wondered if he should have toned the complement down, but given that he was tempted to start drooling, this was probably reasonable. Victor smiled broadly at his words. 

"I'm glad to hear it. I wasn't sure I'd put everything on right. It all seemed to be very complicated. I might need someone to help me take it all off later." 

"I'm sure one of the servants will be able to assist you." 

"Oh," said Victor, smile fading. "Of course." 

Yuri wondered if he'd just missed the point. Had Victor wanted Yuri to offer to help? Yuri remembered Minako's words earlier. She was confident that Victor was interested in Yuri. Had that just been an invitation? 

Yuri felt like a fool for not noticing it, for potentially missing a chance to actually be with Victor, to see him undressed and perhaps do more than see. But perhaps this was for the best. If Yuri went in there with Victor, as clumsy and ignorant as he was now, he was bound to make some horrible mistakes. Victor would see that Yuri had nothing on Christophe and then he would leave, he would go back to his own country and abandon all thoughts of this potential marriage. 

Yuri introduced Victor to some of the lords of the court, including Takeshi and Yuko Nishigori. They had grown up together, enduring some of the same lessons on etiquette and history and law and all the other things they were expected to learn. For the longest time, Yuko had been Yuri's only friend. Now she smiled and greeted Victor politely and didn't mention anything embarrassing about how much Yuri had talked about Victor. 

Takeshi, on the other hand, didn't understand the concept of discretion. "Yuri, you must have been very excited to find out Victor was visiting here." Takeshi turned to Victor, "Half of his letters home while he was off on his trip with Pitchit were talking about you, even before he got to your country. When he came back, he couldn't stop talking about you." 

"Takeshi, please stop talking," Yuri said quietly. Victor looked at Yuri, but Yuri just looked away, staring down at the floor, sure his cheeks must be burning. 

"He was a big admirer of yours," Takeshi continued, "long before he ever met you." 

"I'm glad to hear that, especially since I have come to be an admirer of Yuri too." 

Yuri looked up, eyes snapping to Victor's face to hunt for any sign that he might be lying or joking, hunting out any possibility of insincerity before he dared to believe that Victor might admire him. It was probably just politeness, just something said to a host because it was expected. 

Then it was time to go into the banquet hall, and Yuri was glad to leave Takeshi behind before he said anything more to embarrass Yuri. Yuri showed Victor to his place and then knelt beside him. After a few moments, the servants came in, each carrying a tray with a beautifully arranged dish on it. Each guest got their own dish, the painted porcelain matched to the artfully arrange morsels they contained. As the guests began to eat, a musician came into the space left at the centre of the room and began to play. 

Yuri ate slowly, partly to savour the carefully balanced flavours, but mostly so that he didn't embarrass himself by dropping food down his clothes. Beside him, Victor ate most of his portion in a few hurried bites, before catching himself and slowing down before he finished far earlier than anyone else in the room. Victor lingered on the last few bites and studied the musician. 

"Will there be dancing at this feast?" Victor asked Yuri. 

"There are a number of entertainers scheduled for the evening," Yuri answered. "I believe one of them is a dancer." 

"I meant, do the guests dance?" 

Yuri remembered the banquet at Victor's palace, with the couples carefully standing face-to-face and moving together through planned steps that resembled a courtship display. So much of that celebration had been around the dancing as much as the food and wine. 

"No. This isn't like the banquets in your land. Entertainment is arranged for the guests and we sit and watch while we eat." 

"Oh." Victor sounded disappointed. 

When a servant came round with the sake between courses, Victor accepted a cup, but Yuri declined, asking for a green tea instead. Victor looked at him in surprise. 

"You're not drinking?" he asked. 

Yuri knew he could lose control when he got drunk and losing control around Victor would only lead to disaster. He was bound to say or do something that would frighten Victor away forever. He couldn't admit that though. 

"As the host's son," Yuri said, "I'm expected to show a certain dignity. When I drink, I can be... undignified." 

Victor laughed a little, "That's one way to describe it." 

Yuri froze. Victor was saying that like he knew, like he'd seen it before. Had he seen it before? Yuri's mind went back to the banquet at Victor's palace. He'd been so nervous that night, not knowing anyone, that he'd kept taking wine glasses so he'd have something to do with his hands and wouldn't just be standing around slightly, unable to talk to anyone. Most of that night was a blank, a haze of wine and movement that wouldn't solidify into anything resembling a real memory. What might he have done that Victor had witnessed? 

The servants came to bring the dishes of the second course, which gave Yuri a moment to collect himself. He forced himself to ask, "What are you referring to?" His voice sounded shaking and weak. 

"I was thinking of my banquet," Victor answered, confirming Yuri's worst fears. 

Should Yuri admit that he didn't know what Victor was talking about? Would it make things worse for Victor to know that he'd drunk so much that he'd completely wiped his memory of that night? Or would it be worse to know that he'd done something humiliating and not know what it was? 

Yuri decided he had to know. Whatever horrifying thing Victor had witnessed, Yuri had to know it. 

"I... um... I don't really remember much of that night," Yuri said, voice low enough that only Victor would be able to hear it. 

Victor had just been taking a sip of his drink and it sprayed out of his mouth now in surprise, covering his tray and drawing the attention of half the guests. The other half looked over when Victor said, "What?!" in a loud voice a moment later. 

Yuri shrank into himself, wanting to slip under the table and disappear. Only Minako glaring at him from across the room made Yuri straighten his posture. 

Yuri kept his voice quiet, hoping that the various people staring at him would go back to their own meals and conversations if they couldn't hear what he said, "If I did something inappropriate that night, I apologise." 

"You apologise?" Victor stared at him, wide-eyed. Yuri found his hands shaking and clenched them on his knees, hoping that he could at least pretend to be in control. What had he done that was so awful Victor was staring at him like this now? 

"I'm sorry." 

"You don't remember," Victor said slowly, "challenging my cousin to a dance competition?" 

"I... what?" That was embarrassing, but Yuri could live with that. He was good at dancing, since Minako had thought it would be good for his posture and might help him feel more confident in himself. The first part of that had worked, the second, not so much. 

"When you won that competition," Victor continued, "you challenged Christophe." 

"I did?" 

"You wanted to prove that you were more," Victor hesitated, glancing around at the other guests, some of whom were still trying to listen, and continued, "attractive than he was." 

"I'm sure that competition must have ended badly for me." 

"Yuri, you really don't remember this at all?" 

Yuri shook his head. Victor must think he was a hopeless drunk, unsuitable to be left in polite company unsupervised. 

"You don't remember talking to me that night?" 

Yuri shook his head again. He couldn't believe that he had actually worked up the courage to speak to Victor, let alone that he couldn't remember it afterwards. He'd admired Victor so much that he ought to have every second in his company branded into his memory to be preserved forever. That he'd apparently talked to Victor and danced in front of him and then forgotten it all was beyond humiliating. And yet, despite that, Victor had still come here to see him. Still asked him to marry him. 

"I'm sorry," Yuri said, "for causing a scene, for behaving so inappropriately as a guest, for whatever I might have said to you while I was intoxicated." 

He bowed his head forward, staring at the food in front of him, not daring to look Victor in the eye. He didn't think he'd be able to look Victor in the eye ever again after hearing all this. 

"I'm not," Victor said. Yuri drew in a sharp breath but still couldn't bring himself to look at Victor. "I'm not sorry," Victor continued, "but I don't think this is the best place to discuss what you said to me that night." 

Victor resumed eating. Beside him, Yuri was forced to do the same, holding his chopsticks in trembling fingers. What would be the right place to talk about it? How long would Yuri have to wait before he found out the truth about what he'd done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we get the truth coming out. :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter needs to come with a warning for the boys being hopeless idiots.

Victor couldn't believe what he was hearing, but it explained so much. It explained why Yuri had seemed so surprised to see him here, why he'd panicked and drawn away every time Victor tried to come close. Yuri didn't remember any of it. He didn't remember their dance, or declaring his love, or asking Victor to marry him. 

Victor had come all this way because of the ramblings of a drunken man. He'd built up this fantasy where Yuri was in love with him and they would be happy together, but his fantasy's foundation was as unstable as Yuri had been that night at the banquet. Victor should have seen it, he should have realised something was drastically wrong. Why had it never occurred to him to discuss the events of that night with Yuri? To simply ask him about his proposal? He could have avoided making such a fool of himself. 

Victor ate the food that was set in front of him, barely tasting the small morsels that must have taken hours to prepare, hardly noticing the careful arrangement of each dish. He couldn't speak to Yuri, couldn't find a way to make conversation about trivial things when something so crucial was waiting to be said. His neighbour on the other side, some elderly lord whose name Victor had already forgotten, attempted to make conversation with him, but Victor was a poor guest tonight and could barely string the words together, could barely focus on his translation to understand what was even being said. In the end, Victor made some excuses about struggling with the local language and spent most of the remaining courses eating in silence, eyes staring unseeingly at the entertainers who took their turns. 

His thoughts were constantly on Yuri, eating in equal silence beside him. All those words Yuri had said at the banquet, had he meant any of them? Were they some drunken attempt at humour? Or had he just said words he was too scared to say sober? 

Either way, Yuri must have thought Victor hideously inappropriate. Victor had made suggestive comments, outright invitations, and those must have seemed to come out of nowhere to Yuri. No wonder he'd run away. Victor had been all but molesting him and Yuri had no context to understand that he thought his words and actions would be reciprocated. Victor wished they could wipe the past away and begin their relationship anew from tonight. They could get to know each other without this background of misunderstandings. But no amount of alcohol could wipe away the weeks of memories of the time Victor had spent dreaming of Yuri. 

Could they resolve this? Could Victor ask Yuri's forgiveness for the way he'd acted over the past few days? Or would it be better to go home, to do as his family wished and stop chasing after fantasies? 

The final course of the banquet was finished and cleared away. The entertainers took their bows and departed. The guests were encouraged to linger, walking out into the moonlit gardens or reclining on the cushions to continue conversations. 

"Let's walk together," Victor said, standing, feeling his legs cramp and tingle in protest at the way he'd been nearly for what felt like an eternity. Yuri nodded. Victor wasn't sure if Yuri's silence was a bad sign. He couldn't see how it could be a good one. 

They left the guests behind and walked out into the gardens, following a white stone path through shaped bushes towards a koi pond. On any other occasion, Victor might have admired the craftsmanship that had gone into the gardens, but it was hard to think of anything but Yuri beside him and the conversation they were about to have. 

Once there was enough distance between them and the other guests, Victor forced himself to speak. 

"I'm sorry," he started, "it never occurred to me that you didn't remember that night. I knew you'd been drinking. I should have realised when I got here and you, well, you seemed so different around me." 

"Different?" Yuri asked. 

"At the banquet, you were confident. You were wild and free and... and wonderful." 

"I'm sorry I'm not like that really." 

"No, Yuri, don't apologise. Not while I'm trying to apologise." 

Yuri's mouth opened again, the start of an apology trying to come out, but Victor reached out and touched a finger to Yuri's lips to silence him. A moment later, he snatched his hand away, remembering all his promises to himself to be more restrained. 

"I want you to know what happened," Victor continued, "I want you to know my perspective. At the banquet, I first saw you when you were dancing with my cousin. You were unlike anyone else at the party and you fascinated me. I wanted to know more about you and you seemed to want to know me. We danced together and you didn't seem to care that some of the other guests were scandalised. It was freeing to dance with you, to not care what other people thought for once in my life, and then, well, you told me you loved me." 

"I... What?" 

"You told me you loved me," Victor repeated. "You asked me if I found you attractive." He laughed a little at the memory, "And if I found you more sexually attractive than Chris, which is quite an achievement." 

"What did you say?" Yuri asked. 

"I said yes, of course. You were the most attractive person I'd ever seen." 

"Victor." Yuri sounded almost like he was going to cry, but he was smiling and his cheeks had turned that delightful pink again. He was flustered and nervous, but obviously happy at those words. Victor dared let himself hope that maybe his feelings were reciprocated after all. 

"Yuri, that night at the banquet, after we danced, you asked me to marry you." 

Yuri tripped on nothing and nearly went flying face-first into the koi pond. Victor reached out and caught him, hands seizing his arms holding him steady. As they stood there in the moonlight, Victor didn't want to let go. He didn't want to let his fingers fall from Yuri's arms, but he knew he had to. He had to let Yuri decide what he wanted. Victor lowered his hands and stepped back. 

"You asked me, Yuri, if I'd marry you, and I haven't been able to get that memory out of my head. You might have forgotten, but I've spent every day since you left my country thinking about you. I wanted to come here, to get to know you, to find out if what we had that night was real." 

"I'm sorry, Victor." Yuri really was crying now. Tears flowed from his eyes, falling down his cheek in a torrent. Victor panicked, caught between reaching out for him and running away, unsure how to react. He didn't know what to do. He never knew what to do when people cried. All he knew was that he'd caused this. Yuri was crying and it was all his fault. 

"Yuri. Yuri, what's wrong? What did I do? I'm sorry, Yuri." 

"It wasn't real," Yuri said. "You came all this way, you brought gifts and talked to my parents about marriage, all for me, but it wasn't real. I'm sorry, Victor." He wiped a sleeve across his eyes, even though the tears were still falling. "I'm sorry," he said again. Then Yuri turned and walked away. 

"Yuri," Victor said, voice shaking, as he watched Yuri leave. Victor's heart shattered like ice at the fact that Yuri didn't look back. It wasn't real, that was what Yuri had said. Victor had come all this way, opened his heart, all for something that had never been real. Anger burned inside him, but not at Yuri, never at Yuri. He was angry at himself, for daring to believe, for doing something so foolish and hoping. Love wasn't meant for people like him. 

Victor made it all the way to his guest rooms before his own tears started to fall. He shut the door firmly behind him and then, in the privacy and darkness, he let himself fall apart.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now someone finally says to Yuri all the stuff you were probably yelling at your screens when you read the previous chapter. :)

Yuri shut himself in his room and cried until he didn't think there could be a drop of water left in his body. He sobbed in a way he hadn't done for years, sitting beside his bed with his arms wrapped around his knees. He knew he must look like a frightful mess, nothing like anyone in their right mind would be interested in. Victor had apparently thought him the most attractive person in the world back at the banquet, but he would hardly think so now. 

Victor had come here, had asked to marry him, because of something that had happened while Yuri was so blind drunk he couldn't even remember it. But the person Victor wanted to marry wasn't the real Yuri. Victor had fallen in love for the wild, out-of-control maniac he was when he'd drunk enough alcohol to kill an elephant. He didn't love the real Yuri, this mess of anxiety and social awkwardness who couldn't string a sentence together and who ran away and cried in his room like a child. 

This was somehow worse than doing something humiliating at the banquet to make Victor hate him. Instead, he'd led Victor on and he hadn't even known he was doing it. No wonder Victor had been so forward when he arrived here. He'd expected the out-of-control Yuri of the banquet. The only way for Yuri to give him that was to spend the rest of his life drinking more than Minako and hoping that it didn't kill him. It was a tempting thought. At least then he wouldn't have to remember anything. 

"Yuri?" Someone tapped on the door. Takeshi. Yuri said nothing, muffling his sobs in his knees in the hope that he'd go away. 

"Yuri, I know you're in there," Takeshi said. "I saw you come in. What's wrong?" 

"Nothing. I'm fine." 

"Yuri, I saw you crying. Did Victor do something? Should I go beat him up?" 

"Victor's a prince. You can't beat him up." 

"Oh, I can. I'll just cover my face so he won't know who to have executed. Just say the word. If he's made you cry, I'll be happy to do it." 

"It's not... It's not Victor's fault. Don't beat him up." 

"Then what happened?" Takeshi asked. Yuri couldn't have this conversation through a door and he knew that there wasn't a chance Takeshi would go away. Besides, it was better to make sure he had the facts so that he didn't end up attacking Victor despite Yuri's warning not to. 

Yuri stood and slid the door open. He collapsed down onto his bed while Takeshi came in and closed the door behind him again. 

"What happened?" Takeshi asked again. Yuri stared up at the ceiling and wondered where to start. 

"It turns out," he said, "that while I was in Victor's kingdom, I got very drunk and did some things that I have no memory of doing." 

"What sort of things? Did you sleep with Victor?!" Takeshi sounded more excited than alarmed at the idea. There was no trace of condemnation or revolt in his voice. Was he another person who didn't think it wrong of Yuri to be interested in men that way? 

"No!" Yuri said quickly. Then he thought about Victor's words, and his comments about their night together. "At least, I don't think so. He said we danced together." Yuri watched Takeshi's face, looking for some sign of horror, some sign that he was starting to hate Yuri for displaying this side of himself, but none came. 

"Just danced?" Takeshi asked. 

"I... Um... Apparently, Victor told me I was attractive and I... I asked him to marry me." 

Takeshi laughed. Yuri took in a sharp breath, waiting for the distain that would surely follow. What would he do if Takeshi turned against him? If he turned Yuko against him too? What if he talked to Yuri's parents about this situation? Yuri should have kept his big mouth shut. He braced himself to hear the worst, to hear words of condemnation. 

All Takeshi said was, "You don't do anything by half measures, do you?" He sounded amused but not disgusted in the slightest. 

"So," Takeshi continued, "if you asked Victor to marry you and he came all this way to give you a reply, why are you hiding in your room crying instead of hiding in Victor's room doing other stuff?" 

"Because it wasn't real. He saw me when I was drunk and out of control and thought that was the real me, but it wasn't." 

"What do you mean?" 

"He fell in love with a wild and confident man. I'm nothing like that. Not really." 

"Yuri, I want you to listen to me very carefully. What I'm about to tell you is important." 

"OK," said Yuri. 

"I mean it. Really important. You have to listen carefully." 

"I'm listening." 

"You," Takeshi said, "are an idiot." 

After the moment of shock had worn off, Yuri thought he was going to start crying again. He didn't need insults from someone who was supposed to be his friend. Not now, on top of everything. 

"I already knew that," he said. 

"I meant you're being an idiot about this. It's not like you were under a magic spell to act differently or something. You were just drunk. Alcohol might make you less afraid of consequences, but it doesn't change who you are inside. Just look at Minako. What's she like when she's drunk?" 

"She hugs me a lot and tells me she loves me and then tries to get into bed with attractive men." Minako had no restraint when she got drunk, which was something of a problem because she got drunk a lot. She had given up any hope of a respectable marriage a long time ago and had settled for a lot of very unrespectable affairs. 

"Exactly. She's exactly the same person as when she's sober just more open about it." 

"She never tells me she loves me when she's sober." 

Takeshi waved a dismissive hand, "She corrects your posture and tries to fix your etiquette. For Minako, that's the same thing. My point is that everything you said and did when you were drunk came from the real you, inside. The alcohol just let you get rid of your anxiety for a time." 

"What are you saying?" 

"I'm saying, you idiot, that the person Victor chased back here was still the real you, or at least a part of you. You just have to give Victor a chance to see the rest of you and see if he likes that as much." 

"Thanks," Yuri said. He dragged a sleeve across his eyes. 

"Don't mention it. Seriously, I've got a reputation to maintain. I can't have people knowing I can talk about all this mushy stuff." 

Yuri managed to smile at that. For a long time, he'd wondered what Yuko saw in Takeshi. It had taken Yuri a long time to see Takeshi as anything but the blustering older boy who'd used to pick on him and call him names when they were children, but underneath that bluster, he'd grown up into a very supportive man. Yuko was lucky to have him for a husband. 

"Now clean yourself up," Takeshi said, walking for the door. "You look like a blubbering mess." 

With that, Yuri was alone again, but feeling a lot less hopeless than he had been a few minutes ago. Takeshi was right, and not just about the fact that Yuri was a mess. Victor had seen a part of him that night at the banquet. It was a part that was normally buried so deeply that even Yuri couldn't see it, but it was still there. Yuri just had to find a way to bring it to the surface and maybe he and Victor could find something real to be the foundation for this relationship. 

Yuri shouldn't give up. He didn't want to give up. So long as there was the faintest chance of winning Victor's heart for real, he was going to take it. He climbed from the bed, washed his face, and set off through the castle for Victor's room.


	14. Chapter 14

Victor's tears had slowed since he'd returned to his room. The wild, uncontrolled sobs that had left him barely able to breathe had subsided and now just the occasional drop of water slid from beneath his eyelids. His head pounded and he desperately wanted to drink. He felt like an ocean of salt water had flowed from his eyes, leaving him hollow and empty inside. He just sat there on the floor, lacking the strength to stand or do anything. 

He should have just stayed at home. He should have just let his night dancing with Yuri be a beautiful dream. He should have married for duty and left the memory of Yuri unspoiled as a moment of pure joy. Now it was sullied with the knowledge that it had been a fantasy, a lie his hopes had woven out of the ramblings of a drunken man and his own foolish dreams. 

There was a knock on his door. Victor didn't move. If it was a guest looking for him, they would assume he was elsewhere. A servant might come in to tend the room, but he could just dismiss them if they did. Either way, it was better to remain quiet and hope whoever it was went elsewhere. 

There was another knock, this time followed by a quiet voice, "Victor, are you in there? I'd like to talk to you." 

It was Yuri. Why was Yuri here? After everything that had just happened, why hadn't Yuri just left him alone with his shattered heart? Had he come back here to crush the pieces into dust? 

"Victor?" Yuri's voice came again. When Victor didn't reply, the sound of soft footsteps made it through the door. Quiet as they were, they still sounded loud to Victor, like echoes of doom. If Victor let Yuri walk away, would he ever have another chance to speak with him? 

Victor forced himself to his feet. He made his way to the door and opened it. Down the hallway, Yuri stopped and looked back. Their eyes met and Victor saw that Yuri's were as bloodshot as he was sure his own must be. He had been crying too. Victor shouldn't feel glad about that, but somehow he did. 

"I..." Yuri started. "Can we talk?" 

"What else is there to say?" Victor asked. 

"A lot. I think. At least, I hope so." 

It was Yuri who'd walked away earlier, Yuri who'd left. Victor had no intention of doing the same, not while there was the slightest hope. If Yuri was upset about deciding to end this, then maybe it wouldn't have to end at all. Victor opened the door wider and stepped back, letting Yuri into the guest bedroom. He'd wanted Yuri here so many times, but he hadn't pictured it would happen like this, with them both tear-streaked and hurting. 

Victor lit the lights he hadn't bothered with when he'd returned here earlier. Even with them burning, the room still seemed bleak. He stood there, waiting for what Yuri might have to say, for doom or hope. But Yuri just stood there, looking back at him, until it felt like the silence might swallow them whole. 

"You wanted to talk," Victor said, when his nerves couldn't take it anymore. 

"I had a conversation with Takeshi," Yuri said. "He pointed out that I'm an idiot." 

"For what?" 

"For running away from you. Victor, I've admired you from afar for a long time but you being here, it didn't feel real. The person that I... that I thought I loved, that was just a fantasy I'd constructed based on stories and pictures. It wasn't the real you. Just like the fantasy you created of me based on the banquet, that wasn't really me. Not all of me. Not even a very big part of me. We've been chasing shadows, both of us." 

Victor wanted to throw up or run away, or maybe just kiss Yuri so he'd stop saying such things. 

"You already told me that it wasn't real," Victor said. 

"I know but... I'd like it to be real." 

Victor's heart missed a beat. 

"I want to get to know the real you," Yuri continued, "and I'd like you to get to know the real me. I don't know if this will work. I don't know if we'll even like each other, but I want to try." 

Hope surged where despair had been minutes before. Victor wanted to start crying again, but for entirely different reasons this time. His face split into a grin and he dared a step towards Yuri. He wanted to reach out and touch the other man, to make sure that this wasn't just a delusion his mind had conjured up in his sorrow. He stretched out a hand and placed it on Yuri's shoulder, feeling solid warmth at the touch. Yuri didn't flinch away, but Victor had to be careful. He couldn't presume, not after everything that had just happened. He had to make sure that everything was clear between them. He didn't want there to be the slightest possibility of misunderstanding. 

"I'd like to kiss you," Victor said. 

Yuri tilted his head towards him, "I'd like that too." 

Victor slid his hand up to Yuri's neck, fingers brushing against his hand, caressing the warm skin. He leant in, taking his time, giving Yuri every chance to ask him to stop. It was Yuri who closed the distance, leaning into Victor and pressing lips to his. The kiss was soft and short, Victor too afraid of breaking this fragile hope by pushing too hard. 

Yuri smiled, staying close, hands sliding to Victor's waist. 

"I've wanted to do that since I first saw your portrait," Yuri said. 

"I've wanted to do that since I saw you dance," Victor said. 

They kissed again, and again, each time getting more daring, each one lasting longer. Victor felt like there was a fire burning inside him. He wanted to taste Yuri, to touch him, to hold him close so that they could never come apart again. But still, when Yuri's hands went to the folds of Victor's clothes, Victor caught his wrist and pulled away. 

"Are you sure?" Victor asked. "We don't want to rush this." 

"You're probably right," Yuri said, "but I want to. I want this." 

So Victor let go of his wrist and kissed him again. This time, he let Yuri slide the cloth from his shoulders. He reached out to do the same in response and then gently led Yuri to his bed. 

They still took things slower than Victor would have liked, exploring with hands and eyes and kisses, getting to know each other physically. Fingers brushed warm skin and they came to the point of climax in each others' hands. 

Afterwards, as Victor lay with his arms wrapped around Yuri, the torment of emotions from earlier settled into quiet contentment, but Yuri still seemed tense in his arms. Victor worried that Yuri might be regretting this. He had said he wanted this, but wanting and doing were two different things. 

"We didn't," Yuri said, "at your banquet, we didn't do that, did we?" 

"No," Victor said. "That was the first time." 

"Good. I want to remember my first time with you." 

"I want to remember every time with you." 

Yuri snuggled closer and rested his head against Victor's chest. Victor closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, his arms wrapped around the man he loved.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got really confused because I was certain I'd already posted this chapter on Friday. Not sure what happened, but here it is, only a couple of days late.

The journey back to his home country seemed a lot shorter with Yuri for company. They spent the sea voyage talking, or playing go, or doing other things in their cabin that Victor was sure the crew all realised. There were certainly enough smirks on the occasions that they came onto the deck. The crew were fortunately quite open minded about the idea of two men sharing a single bunk, and Victor guessed that a certain type of man was probably drawn to a profession in which he would be surrounded by other men almost constantly. As the days passed, Yuri seemed more comfortable in being publically affectionate, which Victor abused to its full extent with hugs and later kisses to hand and cheek, all while standing at the rail of the ship. 

The first mate smiled at them at one point, when Victor and Yuri had been laughing together as they walked around the deck together after a week of rough weather, and said that if a relationship could survive being cooped up in a ship's cabin for a week, it could survive anything. He sounded like he was talking from experience. At those words, it had been Yuri for once who had reached out and taken hold of Victor's hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. 

Victor hoped this would mean Yuri would continue to be comfortable with their relationship when they were back on dry land and facing Victor's family. He was a little nervous how the introductions would go, given how hostile his parents and Yakov had been to the idea. Even now, Yuri was officially here as a diplomatic envoy from his land to finalise the trade negotiations. The pretence wouldn't last long, but Victor wasn't allowed to talk about Yuri as his betrothed until his parents gave their final agreement. 

When the ship made land, they were forced, for propriety's sake, to book separate rooms in the dockside inn, but Victor quickly abandoned his room in favour of Yuri's. It was heavenly to spend time together in a bed bigger than the shared bunk onboard the ship, but then they were soon piled into the carriage and making their way towards Victor's home. 

Yuri seemed to be getting more anxious with every mile that passed, and it was hard for Victor to calm him down because he felt his share of anxiety too. He was afraid his parents might say something horrible to Yuri and drive him away. Given all the misunderstandings and confusion and hurt that had stood between them up until now, Victor really didn't want anything else to come between them. He knew how opposed to the idea his family had been; they would be looking for any reason to hate Yuri. They would hunt for any excuse to forbid the match. 

As the miles slid by on the other side of the carriage windows and the landscape became more familiar, Victor started to fret about what he would do if the meeting with his parents didn't go well. He wasn't willing to give Yuri up without a fight. 

The morning that they came to the palace was a bright, cold day. Frost decorated the roofs and the sun glittered from icy puddles at the edges of the road. A few people came out to greet the royal carriage, but not nearly as many as had seen him off. They waved at the carriage as it passed and Victor waved back from behind the glass. 

"We should go ice skating," Victor said, mostly to distract himself from the rising anxiety as the palace came into view. "There's a large pond behind the palace that freezes over every winter. Yuri, my cousin that is, and I go skating there every winter." 

"I'd like that. I love ice skating." 

"There were performances sometimes," Victor continued. "Professional skaters would come out onto the ice to dance and perform displays of talent, sometimes alone but sometimes in pairs." 

Yuri saw the direction his thoughts were heading. "We're not dancing together on a frozen pond." 

Victor pouted. He wasn't really upset, but he'd learned that Yuri was very susceptible to this expression. 

"I don't want half the palace watching me fall on my face on the ice," Yuri said. 

"I'll be there to catch you." Victor pouted some more. 

"Alright, fine," said Yuri and Victor broke into a grin. 

When Victor turned back to the window, he saw that they'd arrived, the carriage wheels clattering over the stones of the palace courtyard. Victor wrapped his fur cloak around himself, checked that Yuri was prepared, and then stepped out into the cold. His parents stood on the palace steps, Yakov and Yuri a few steps behind them. Their expressions were as icy as the air. 

Victor wanted to reach out and take Yuri's hand to offer a reassuring squeeze, but half the court were gathered to watch his return home and he didn't dare risk his parents anger by flaunting this relationship before they'd had their say. So he just walked across the courtyard while Yuri walked a step behind. Victor bowed to his parents in turn and then let them pull him into a hug of greeting. Yuri just bowed in the local manner. It was probably a good thing no one expected him to kneel on the ground in this weather. 

"Your majesties," Victor said, "may I present Katsuki Yuri." 

"Welcome, Yuri," said Victor's father in a tone that held no welcome whatsoever. 

"It's an honour to be invited, your majesty," Yuri said. His head was still bowed. 

"Come," said Victor's mother. "It is too cold to remain out here in the open." 

The king and queen turned and walked up the palace steps, leaving the others to follow. Around the courtyard, the various people who'd come out to watch the arrival all headed to the nearest doors. Inside, Victor let a servant take his cloak and then they all walked together to his father's study. Victor took the opportunity to ruffle his cousin's hair. It had been more than half a year since he'd had the chance to annoy this Yuri and he needed to make up for lost time. 

"Hey! Get off me!" his cousin protested. 

"Did you miss me?" Victor asked. 

"No. I was glad you were gone. You should have stayed away longer." 

"I missed you too." 

When they reached the study, Yuri, his betrothed Yuri, was almost trembling. Given that they were out of the cold now, it had to be from nerves. Victor wished he could reach out and touch Yuri, reassure him, but he knew that doing so right now would just make what was to come more difficult. When they reached the study, Victor's father took his usual seat, while Victor and Yuri stood together in front of the desk. The others spread out to watch the explosions that were sure to follow. Victor waited in silence while his father looked Yuri up and down, studying him like he was a bug under a magnifying lens. 

"So, Kateski Yuri," said Victor's father, after an excruciating pause, "you wish to marry my son." 

"Yes, your majesty." 

"What makes you think you are worthy for such a position in the royal house?" 

"I..." Yuri looked to Victor for help, but Victor couldn't say anything. It was up to Yuri to say something. Victor just hoped Yuri didn't break down in a panic attack right here in the study. 

"I don't know if I am worthy," Yuri said. Victor cringed inwardly. "My family is respected but not royal. We are neither the richest nor the most powerful household in our country. I am neither the most skilled diplomat nor the most learned scholar." 

Victor felt his stomach sinking with every word. Yuri should be talking about his kindness and determination, his dedication to his work and his duty. He should be listing his good qualities, not given the king more reasons to deny the match. Victor's father clearly felt the same way. 

"Then why should I let you marry my son?" he asked. 

"Because Victor chose me," Yuri answered. "This is what he wants. He thinks being with me will make him happy and making him happy makes me happy. You should let Victor marry me because it's what Victor wants." 

"In our position, we do not always get to do what we want." 

"But sometimes you do. Why not let Victor do what makes him happy?" 

Victor's father considered this for some time, then nodded. "Good answer." 

Victor's sinking heart started to rise again, "Does this mean you'll let us marry?" 

"It means I will consider it. I would like to get to know you, Yuri. You are welcome to stay in this palace as our guest. I want to make sure that you would be a _respectable_ partner for my heir." Form his tone, he hadn't forgotten the display Yuri had put on at the banquet. Victor would make sure to keep Yuri away from alcohol until after the wedding reception. For now, he would take this as a victory. He thanked his father and then offered to show Yuri to the guest rooms, making his escape as quickly as possible before someone could say something that would ruin things. 

They waited until they were several hallways away from the study before either of them spoke. 

"That went better than I expected," Victor said. 

"He didn't say no." 

"That's what I meant." 

"So now I just have to convince your father that I'm respectable," Yuri said. They rounded a corner into the hallway with the guest rooms. 

"That might be a challenge," a voice said. A familiar figure was leaning against the wall waiting for them next to the door for Yuri's bedchamber. Chris smirked at Yuri. "Hello, Yuri." 

"Christophe!" 

"It's good to see you again," Chris said, sidling up to Yuri and slipping a hand around him in a friendly greeting. Yuri gave a quiet yelp and his face turned scarlet. It took Victor a second to work out why, but then he saw where Chris had put his hand. 

"Chris," Victor said, warning in his tone. Chris just smirked. It wasn't jealousy or possessiveness that filled Victor with anger. He wouldn't have minded Chris's flirtatious greeting, knowing the way he behaved, except that it obviously made Yuri uncomfortable to have his rear groped by a man he barely knew. Of course, Chris didn't know that Yuri didn't remember how they'd danced together. 

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Chris asked, arm still draped around Yuri. Victor stepped forward and grabbed Chris's hand, peeling it off Yuri. He glared at his friend. 

"We need to show that Yuri is respectable," Victor said. "That does not involve having you draped all over him in the middle of the palace. Hands off." 

Chris held his hands up in a gesture of surrender and backed away. 

"Well," he said, "congratulations." Despite the teasing of earlier, he seemed genuine about that. Victor wasn't sure how much Chris knew about the deal Victor had made with his parents, but it was obvious he knew enough. Victor thanked Chris and led Yuri into the bedroom. 

***

Yuri hadn't slept with Victor since the inn when they'd made landfall. They were trying to prove he was a sensible and honourable young man, suitable for marrying the heir of a powerful kingdom. He didn't want to jeopardise that by giving into hormonal impulses. So he and Victor had polite teas with Victor's former tutor glowering at them from the other side of the room as a chaperone. Yuri was certain that Yakov didn't like him. He wasn't certain though whether Yakov disliked him for anything he'd done, or if he just disliked the concept of Yuri. Yuri wasn't sure he wanted to be alone with the man long enough to find out. 

He was also confident that Victor's cousin hated him. He'd loudly declared that the royal court didn't need two Yuris and told Yuri that he should just go home, that he wasn't wanted there, and that he was going to ruin Victor. Katsuki Yuri didn't manage to say anything in response, since neither yelling in his defence nor bursting into tears would look particularly impressive. 

Victor's parents definitely didn't like him. His mother had implied that she thought Yuri was here to grab power for himself. Victor had arranged for Yuri to have several outfits made in the local style and Victor's mother had noticed and said that it was clear what Yuri wanted out of the relationship. 

All in all, the only people who didn't seem to hate Yuri were Victor and Chris. It might have been helpful if Chris had hated him. After the first night, he'd not been overtly suggestive and he'd kept his hands to himself, but there were enough looks and subtle comments that implied he'd quite enjoy an invitation to join in with Victor and Chris. Victor seemed fine with these comments, laughing along with them like jokes or just outright telling Chris to go find someone else to occupy him. Yuri didn't have the confidence to tell Chris to go away, but he thought that he'd have to soon. 

He'd been at the palace a couple of weeks and he doubted Victor's parents were any closer to allowing the marriage. Each day that passed made Yuri feel more hopeless. He couldn't think of anything he could do to convince Victor's family that he was suitable. 

Then one morning, Victor found Yuri at breakfast, a grin shining from his face. Yuri hoped for a moment that this was it, that Victor's parents had finally said yes, but Victor just held up the ice skates. Apparently the pond had frozen enough to be safe for skating. Yuri shook his head in amusement but let himself be led to the water's edge, wrapped up against the bitter cold. 

With skates strapped to their feet, Yuri stepped out onto the ice. He let Victor take his hand. After all, they could always claim that they needed to help each other retain their balance, though that deception was unlikely to be believed as Victor started a complicated pattern of footwork and Yuri imitated it. 

Victor had clearly spent a lot of time on this pond. He was as sure-footed on the ice as most people were on solid land. He spun and twirled like the dancers he'd said he'd watched perform here, jumping through the air like he could take flight. Yuri tried his best to keep up, putting into practice every trick he'd ever learned during the cold winters back home. 

Together, they danced across the ice, feet moving in sync. They held hands like partners in a formal dance, shifting so first one skating backwards then the other. As they grew more confident, they tried the jumps, laughing when they got out of step as much as they smiled when they were perfectly timed. At one point, Victor even seized Yuri round the waist and lifted him in the air, before lowering him in a dip when his skates met the ice again. Yuri met Victor's gaze as he reached out to caress Victor's cheek, before turning the movement into the start of a spin. Together, they danced to music only they could hear. 

Yuri had forgotten all his concerns about being watched. Right then, he didn't care about anything except the fact that he and Victor were together, sharing this moment of pure joy. They were linked by the dance and by the ice and by their love for each other and this pond had become their ballroom. 

At last, they came to a stop in the middle of the ice, breathless and flushed. Victor looked like he did after a night of lovemaking, all pink cheeks and tousled hair. Yuri almost leaned in to kiss him. But then Victor's eyes shot past Yuri to lock onto something at the edge of the ice. The joy drained from his face in moments. 

Yuri turned to see what he was looking at. Yakov stood at the edge of the pond, watching them. There was no way to know how long he'd been watching. 

Victor gave Yuri's hand a gentle squeeze and then released it, skating towards Yakov. Yuri trailed after him, dreading whatever he might say. Was this sort of display, in full view of anyone in the palace or the grounds, deemed too unseemly for one who might marry a prince? Yakov just looked back and forth between them, while the two of them waited anxiously to hear some declaration that would doom them both and shatter their happiness. 

Instead, Yakov said, "You really do love each other, don't you?" 

"Yes," Victor answered. 

"Alright. I'll speak to your father." 

"What?" 

"You're both fools, but what idiot in love isn't? I'll do what I can." 

Heart racing, Yuri reached out for Victor's hand and seized it, grinning with sudden hope. This might happen after all. If even Yakov, who previously had been all distain for Yuri, could approve the match, then they had a chance.


	16. Epilogue

They had a winter wedding, more than a year after Yuri had first come home with Victor, but Victor didn't mind. Royal weddings took a long time to organise and Victor thought it was fitting that they should celebrate surrounded by ice, since it was ice that had helped them show their love to the people who could make this happen. 

Chris stood beside Victor as his attendant, while the enthusiastic Pitchit, who Victor had heard so much about, travelled here specifically so that he could attend to Yuri. He had insisted on sketching the pair of them within about five minutes of meeting them, and Victor now had the drawing framed in his room. With a few simple lines, Pitchit had captured their likenesses and made them seem alive in a way many professional portraits often failed to do. He had promised to draw the two of them in their wedding finery as well and had said that the picture would be part of his present to them. 

Victor's cousin Yuri was part of the ceremony as well, carrying the rings on a velvet cushion to the arch of winter roses that the pair were to be married under. He glowered constantly about his part in the performance, but he still took the time to tell Victor to, "Look after that idiot," which Victor took to be a sign of his approval. 

The official performed the ceremony with only a few minor changes of wording necessary to reflect the genders of the two of them. The king had insisted that the marriage would be fully legal and recognised, though they had a marriage contract that would allow for the fathering of heirs through surrogates without it counting as infidelity. Chris had asked if that meant they could sleep with him without it counting as infidelity, but Victor had told him that it would only work if Chris had been concealing the ability to bear children, otherwise, he was with Yuri now, body and soul. Chris had pretended to sulk for about two seconds before smiling and wishing them happiness and making plans over who he wished to seduce at the wedding reception. 

The reception itself was in the main banquet hall of the palace, where Victor and Yuri had met about a year and a half ago. Somehow, it felt both a lifetime ago and no time at all. As Victor sat at the head table, his new husband beside him, he wondered if this was some strange dream, if he'd wake up to find himself trapped in joyless duty again, with Yuri nothing but a figment of his imagination. Then Yuri took his hand beneath the table and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Do you want to dance?" 

Victor smiled and stood, hand still clasped with Yuri's. 

"I've been waiting for you to ask me since the night we met." 

Yuri smiled back, "At least this time I'm sober enough to remember it." 

Victor linked his finger's with his husband's and they stepped together onto the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this fic. Thank you to everyone who's commented. As always, comments are life. :)


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